Friday, January 17, 2014

Invid's Guide to the Star Wars Universe: Alien Species (#103)

The Massive Index (Posts #1-#100)

1021. Sock-headed Worm People. The Sock-headed Worm People (this seems like a conjectural title, don't you think?) are from a cut story, and thus ambiguously canonical.

They look only sorta wormlike, in that they have annelid-style (i.e. earthworm style) body segments and their body shapes are kinda similar, but otherwise they're stocky-bodied little lumps with tentacles. They supposedly come from a desert planet.

Rating: 3/5. I like how they look, even with the apparent cartoon mouth.

1022. Soomans. They're some kind of cartoon bug people.

They were once threatened by invasion, but nothing much came of it because it was a Droids cartoon tie-in comic. Then some other guys came and massacred millions of them for jollies, possibly disgusted at their survival.

Rating: 3/5. There's a pity point in there.

1023. Soothsisters of Pelgrin. Xim the Despot killed all the Soothsisters of Pelgrin for them predicting that his empire would fall.

Later, his empire fell.

Rating: 2/5. It can't be said for sure that they're actually an alien species as such, but if they were, I'd probably bump them up another point if they went in the directions I'd tend to think they ought to go.

1024. Sorkis. The Sorkis (singular Sorki) are ambiguously canonical, amphibious and preferentially aquatic humanoids. They so strongly prefer underwater lifestyles that only one percent of the populace of their own capital city, which is above water for convenience of administration and junk, is actually made up of their own species. They can't speak Basic (English), instead speaking a dolphin chatter-inspired tongue.

They apparently invented a virtual reality-like form of psychotherapy, which like all fictional forms of magically entering people's heads is stupid dangerous to a degree that makes you wonder why people think it's a good idea.

Rating: 3/5. The main thing I like is the description of the capital city.

1025. Sorrusians. The Sorrusians are near-humans with hyper-flexible bone structures that apparently let them squeeze through much tighter places than humans.

Rating: 2/5. Eh, if you're going to make near-humans with one anatomical difference, it might as well be something interesting instead of something worn out and overdone.

1026. Souma. The Souma are ambiguously canonical cat people. There are five times as many female Souma as male Souma, and the male Souma are apparently stupid and "relegated to menial tasks." I... kinda doubt that's how that'd work, exactly; if you've got stupid, rare males, then you'd be using them as studs, not menial laborers.

As for appearance, their main notable features are thick coats of fur and "frank, gentle eyes." ...That sounds a lot like my new cat.

Rating: 2/5. Hum, very average so far today.

1027. Spider People. The Spider People are/were spider people (SHOCKING) who live(d) on a planet of insect people. This naturally made them enemies of the insectoid natives (which is silly, but meh), but they were seemingly exterminated after retreating to the planet's implausible cave complexes.

The reason for the tense ambiguity is because they're implicitly extinct, except their last known environment is filled with "cave spiders," which appear to be related to them and which seem to be intelligent, possibly sapient.

They're said to have been quick to jump to conclusions. Sounds to me like that's a trait of those who think they're extinct.

Rating: 3/5. The implicit fact that they're still around, letting outsiders believe they're extinct, is interesting.

1028. Spiners. The Spiners' homeworld of Worxer was destroyed by a supernova, and the fact that they could no longer acquire certain vital nutrients from their home meant that they were becoming sterile and gradually going extinct. (I have doubts that a civilization in the Star Wars galaxy couldn't come up with nutritional supplements for that sort of thing, but whatever.)

Anyway, the Spiners' claim to fame is that they have porcupine-like quills (SHOCK) that they can shoot as projectiles with enough force and accuracy to kill. Not only can they do this, but they can fire them really fast, and then regrow them at probably impossible rates, thus being able to fire hundreds of projectiles in the span of a few minutes.

Sounds exhausting, especially since their projectile firing is explicitly powered by muscular action.

Rating: 3/5. If they'd had a more interesting name, perhaps.

1029. Squalrises. I'll get this out of the way: Every time I read "Squalris" I hear "walrus" and then I'm disappointed that they aren't some kind of walrus things.

Anyway, Squalrises are some kind of yellow-skinned humanoids whose homeworld is fortunate enough to sit along one of the biggest, wealthiest trade routes in the galaxy, and has been an immensely wealthy planet since the modern hyperdrive was invented and proliferated 25,000 years before the movie era. Probably as an acquired trait, Squalrises have a particular reputation as hard bargainers. In an RPG, Squalris players would have less agility, but starting bonuses to durability (attributed to a thick hide) as well as to detecting hidden agendas and to initial wealth.

Rating: 3/5. Eh, somebody has to be the well-heeled and well-established guys.

1030. Squibs. The Squibs are diminutive, rodent-like nomadic Jawa types, i.e. technology scavengers, and seedy merchants (the two occupations are, of course, related). They have a frikkafrakkin' ton of history and material.

One of the most notable things about the Squibs is that the first character in Star Wars fiction to go by the name Mace Windu was actually a Squib. It would later be explained that the Squibs see the Jedi Mace Windu as Big Time Hero of Beyond-Squib Eliteness (an actual title given as an honor for great heroes by the Squibs) for saving their planet once during the Clone Wars.

Rating: 4/5. They're not my favorite space scavs. They're also not my favorite rodent people, because saber-toothed rat people. But they do possess quite a bit of cultural material and are clearly popular to use... though they're also inconsistently portrayed by different authors, e.g. some of them speak in weird pidgin dialects while some don't.

-Signing off.

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