Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Invid's Guide to the Star Wars Universe: Alien Species (#90)

Today marks nine hundred alien species from Star Wars profiled, unfortunately counting way too many that shouldn't.

891. Rakririans. Rakririans are basically centipede people. Their culture is such that the galaxy at large is too unsophisticated for their refined tastes, and they try to avoid leaving their planet.

Nice people.

They have a third biological sex in addition to the regular ones, "facilitator drone." That's... interesting.

On the plus side, they do look somewhat interesting.

Rating: 3/5. Looking kind of interesting makes up for being obnoxious jerks, I guess.

892. Ramoans. The Ramoans are very similar to Gamorreans. Apparently, their homeworld was wrecked by the Yuuzhan Vong somehow or another, and six years later they were still being relocated by relief efforts.

What's odd and sad about the Ramoans is that in an early preview for the book they appeared in, they actually were Gamorreans-they were changed from Gamorreans late in production.

Why is this sad? Because one of the Ramoan characters was a Jedi.

Green pig dude Jedi, guys.

Rating: 3/5. They're not Gamorreans, but they still brought us a green pig dude Jedi.

893. Ranats, or Con Queecon (in their own language). The Ranats are saber-toothed rat people.

When there are saber-toothed rat people in a fictional universe, what other rat people or other forms of Jawa substitute could you possibly need?

Rating: 5/5. Saber-toothed rat people, guys.

894. Ranth. The Ranth live on the planet Caaraz, which is tidally locked with its star even though it has two moons (this shouldn't be possible, by the way) on its perpetually dark side, which is heated only by its moons (?) and Caaraz's geological activity (...they got a bit right? Amazing!). The Ranth thus have great night vision and hearing and considerable resistance to cold, and also are great athletes because that's the only way they could get enough food in their harsh environment.

City-dwelling Ranth want to become more civilized, and nomadic Ranth don't. The city Ranth apparently express anger "flamboyantly" but nonviolently, while nomadic Ranth express anger through violence; the city Ranth apparently are "introspective" and "tend towards apathy" while nomadic Ranth are passionate and driven.

Rating: 1/5. I didn't come into this wanting to hate this entry, but after all the stupid and obvious, I kind of had to.

895. Rat People. They resemble rats and live on Coruscant.

Rating: 1/5. Go away, Rat People, the Ranat meet that description too and you are clearly inferior for not being saber-toothed rat people. (Have I mentioned enough how great it is that the Ranat are saber-toothed rat people? I'm not sure I have.)

896. Rattataki. The Rattataki may or may not be descended from a lost human expedition from the Old Republic. They're all bald and have marble-white skin, which isn't a bad look. They also tend to have some sort of black markings on their faces that are probably tattoos.

They apparently are "very inventive" and "always finding new ways to kill each other," and their population was frequently decimated by infighting between them and other races in the region of space from which they hail.

Rating: 3/5 because of the look and the amusement factor of the previous sentence.

897. Reigats. Reigats are basically huge, muscular humans.

They're apparently loners, and the species only fails to go extinct because they have unusually strong yearly breeding drives. (Is that anything like going into heat? If so, I do not want to be around Reigats at the yearly point in time, because I'm living with a cat who is currently in heat [long story-don't ask] and she is really annoying right now, and is trying to... get a response, shall we say, out of her neutered female roommate that she seems to think is a tomcat because said roommate really big.)

They also have bad tempers which are sometimes known as "Reigat Rage!"

The article doesn't specify, likely because they forgot, but clearly it is required that "Reigat Rage!" always be written in italics if possible and with an exclamation point.

Rating: 3/5. Because Reigat Rage!

898. Reks. Reks apparently have whip-like bodies, skin like "lukewarm rubber" (a fascinatingly specific description), and brightly colored eyes.

So they're cartoon characters?

Rating: 2/5, because I don't know if I'll ever get tired of that sort of gag.

899. Rellarins. Rellarins are huge, with hands twice as thick as a Wookiee's (though note that Wookiees can trounce guys much bigger than themselves, and Han Solo once punched a Phlog in the face). "Despite" this, they are known for being gentle and wise, and despite their primitive culture a number of members of the galactic society at large take their tribal leaders, un'Yala, as advisors.

They also look awesome and terrifying.

Rating: 4/5. They're genuinely great.

900. Reussi. Near-humans from Reuss VIII.

Rating: 1/5. Yet another case of "terrible landmark entry." Sigh.

-Signing off.


liminalD said...

Rakririan 'facilitator drones'... pervy ;)

And congrats on persevering to 900 species :)

liminalD said...

Also, a Gamorrean Jedi would have been fun. I've always liked 'em, ever since I saw that poor guard get eaten by the Rancor. Shame they changed it - it would've added a some tragedy