Friday, January 29, 2010

Adaptations and Longevity

My titles for the posts where I link my other blog are probably just going to get weirder and weirder.

This week, my random video fun choices are some things I've featured here before. The first two are anime-style introductions for the '90s era X-Men cartoon.

Having reasonably fond memories of that show, I can safely state that these intros have nothing to do with it whatsoever.

Those have nothing, though, on the other video: Japanese Spider-Man.

True fact: In Japan, Spider-Man codified many features of Super Sentai, which means that Power Rangers could be seen as a Spider-Man spinoff.

-Signing off.

Thursday, January 28, 2010


So I spend all day browsing the Internet, and don't have much to show for it.

I will note that Schlock Mercenary has been nominated for a Hugo (again), and that it has also been nominated for "Best Webcomic of the Decade" in a Washington Post poll. If you have a kind bone in your body (or like seeing vampire serpent lawyers getting vaporized), why not go vote for it? It's almost hit 10,000 (which is the author's goal), and he'd appreciate the recognition.

-Signing off.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Rambling Thoughts on Bionicle

I recently learned that Lego will be discontinuing its Bionicle "theme" this year, replacing it with a rather more generic theme called Hero Factory. (Actually, the Hero Factory backstory gives me mild jeebies; it's essentially about a group who builds robotic policemen and teleports them across the entire universe. What.)

This is a shame, because Bionicle's story rocks.


Now, according to what I've read, Greg Farshtey, who is pretty much the main name in Bionicle, will continue cranking out the storyline for an unspecified length of time. So for the time being, anyway, Bionicle is still alive.

Now, why do I like Bionicle?

Well, there's the fact that Bionicle is nearly the only boy's action toyline which dared defy the traditional English-language pun-based naming conventions or "Actionable Man McAction" names (which Hero Factory is using for its robotic [!] characters). Where else will you see names like "Tahu," "Makuta," or "Krekka?" Not in a toyline.

There's the fact that Bionicle has managed, over its mere decade of its own history, to build a mythos and world of impressive and intricate proportions, and it is one of the oddest and most idiosyncratic such I've ever seen. Take the planets that the saga occurs on, which follow the "plane" theory of planets (i.e. the idea of flat planets, yet modified to be spherical-keep in mind that Bionicle physics are magic) in that, when their progenitor was smashed to bits, split into three separate pieces made up of its regions. Or the fact that much of the series actually takes place in what was essentially a pocket universe inside a giant robot.

(Yeah, Bionicle's like that. You get used to it, you go nuts trying, or you give up.)

Then there's the fact that it's essentially about living robots going about their business. Sound familiar?

Really, the parallels between the two series are occasionally uncanny. Mata Nui is very similar to Primus, for instance. Both are presented initially as essentially the central figures in the religions of the beings they are connected to, though for obvious reasons this tended to be toned down in later presentations as they became more regularly used as characters. Mata Nui was apparently "crewed," being a giant robot (despite being a thinking being), and there were discarded plans for one Transformers story where the earliest Transformers were built to crew Primus in a "battle mode." One could also draw parallels between Teridax (formerly known as Makuta, before it was revealed that technically "Makuta" referred to a "species") and the Fallen.

These parallels are something that I find peculiar and entertaining. It's hard to say whether or not it's intentional; I sometimes wonder whether the Fallen's appearance in the second live action Transformers was deliberately intended to look like a Rakshi or similar member of the Bionicle toyline (as seen in the above video) as a subtle jab at the bizarre and irrational complaints by many Transformers fans that movie Megs looked like "a Bionicle." (Maybe a "Bionicle" made of a few hundred thousand pieces... which could be roughly life-sized, actually, and that sounds weirdly cool. Darnit.)

On a final note, there's even one more parallel between Bionicle and Transformers.

In Japan, as Transformers wound down when the '90s rolled around, Takara realized that they needed a new brand for the last few toys they'd designed when they decided to cancel the line. While Transformers returned within just a couple of years, their replacement line, the Yuusha (Brave) Robots series, lasted for the better part of a decade, and were about a somewhat more generic group of heroic space police robots that were otherwise quite similar to Transformers, the genericness coming from the original factions and mythos being purged.

Bionicle is being replaced by a line about a somewhat more generic group of heroic space police robots that are otherwise quite similar to Bionicle characters, the genericness coming from the original factions and mythos being purged.

Hmm... Gotta be coincidence. It's just gotta.

If it's not, I'm looking forward to Bionicle: Generation Tui in 2013.

-Signing off.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Space Crazy Comics: Prisoners on Solar

From the same issue of Space Action that brought us Double Menace on something or other comes Prisoners on Solar. (Which would be a good name for a rock band.)

I like this one rather better for reasons that probably will become clear.

We open on a solitary confinement bubble in deep space, where a two-seater rocket ship is about to drop off a prisoner... and had two other dudes in it. Um... Let's just move on, and assume that the ship was supposed to be bigger than it looked.

"Black" Bartow is some kind of pirate, and he's desperate to not go into solitary. Wouldn't you be if solitary meant being shut in a little independent space station that they probably don't visit often?

Not that it can be very secure all alone out there, as is momentarily demonstrated by Bartow's highly skilled brigands coming to rescue him.

Those brigands are good shots. Maybe better than Buster Crabbe. (I might explain that joke in a later post.)

So they start chasing Bartow to keep him from escaping (it never bothers explaining how he got separated from his band in the first place), and chase him towards Solar.

What is Solar?

Well, in this rather crazy SF setting, the Sun got dim about 600 years before, and stopped producing enough light to serve the apparently already very well-colonized solar system. So they built an artificial replacement for the Sun: Solar.

They loose points for confusing Latin-speakers, but it's a nifty idea, and while not especially artistically polished, it's a visually interesting space station.

Bartow gets really close to it. How close?

Too close.

The space patrol dudes take the opportunity to mindlessly vomit exposition, thinking their job is done...

But that very same day, things seem to be cooler than they should have been. And within mere days...

Aside from demonstrating the horrible engineering skills of the time period, it reveals just how reliant they are on a distant generator. Really, really reliant.

Seriously, have they forgotten how to make sun lamps and space heaters in the past few centuries?

The patrol dudes from earlier take a look at Solar's beams to see if there's anything wrong, and find (DUH) that something's off.

"Lindstrom units?" Yeah...

Just then, they discover a stowaway. (Note that this means it took them like half an hour to get out here, especially if their rocket is as small as it looks.)

The stowaway is an inconsistently drawn chick.

It's almost like watching a Disney curse fall off or something, especially with the next panel...

Also, yes, I know that the male characters go through similar shifts in appearance, but I don't care, because it's less jarring for me personally. So there.

Anyway, the revelation that Erica Lindstrom, descendant of Eric Lindstrom, is the stowaway, and she has inside information makes him change his mildly annoyed and very skeptical tune.

I have no idea how that's supposed to work.

He then takes the opportunity to make a sexist remark. What a guy!

They get in there, and find Bartow is waiting for them, along with his Space Brigands.

And they're better armed than the patrol ship, so they're forced to surrender.

The patrol dude tries to shoot Bartow, but Erica stops him, and he gets knocked out.

And then, it turns out that Bartow's already issued his demands.

Oh, no, what next?

Notice that one guy in the middle of the crowd? He seems happy about all this.

So the solar system's council of TV-screen dudes decide that they have to give in to the demands.

Meanwhile, Bartow reveals why Erica protected him:

The Lindstroms must be terrible at naming their children. Apparently, they name all their kids after famous ancestors, or give them terrible names that make them go insane.

Fortunately, all is not lost.

And if you're wondering why Lindstrom didn't just fix the Sun 600 years ago if he was so awesome, one can suppose that he couldn't be sure if it would work, and Solar seemed the more reliable option.

So, one cliched escape later, we learn just what they need to do in order to use Solar to restart the Sun:

The Superman Method.

Then, as with the previous story's climactic panel, we have critical art failure.

It can be forgiven...

And of course, then comes the obligatory cheesy epilogue panels.

Why do I like this particular cheesy story? Well, if nothing else, it proves that there's at least one alternative use for the Death Star, doesn't it?

-Signing off.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Golden Age Moment of the Day (17)

So one day, Kid Eternity is persuaded by a buddy of his to intervene in fighting between brothers over their father's farmland. Who's his buddy?

Ulysses S. Grant. No joke.

-Signing off.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Ledge Fighters and Friday Link

As usual, I've got a column up over at the Writing Blog.

Today's random video is Ledge Fighters.

The description on YouTube is short and succint: "The only way out... is down."

This is accurate in context.

-Signing off.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Separated at Birth?

You decide: Separated at birth, lawsuit material, or simple cosmic coincidence?

I present to you King Randor and the Burger King... King.

I'm hardly the first person ever to observe the similarity, but it is mighty peculiar. (It's kind of like this, only completely different.)

Also, shouldn't he really have a name beyond merely "King?" That's awfully problematic.

-Signing off.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Game Review(s): Tanks a Lot

Since I did my review of Tank Destroyer a while back, I decided to investigate some other free online tank-based games and see what kind of competition it has out there.

In the interests of getting lots of material out of a few rather sparse games (in terms of review material), I'll be mashing them all together.

First up is Micro Tanks.

If you're interested in a spiritual successor to the original Combat (mentioned in my Tank Destroyer review), this game has basic gameplay virtually identical to that of (certain modes of) the original Combat, complete with bouncing projectiles and oddly shaped obstacles. It does have some changes made, such as hitpoints for the tanks and the potential to damage oneself with a ricochet of one's own weapons fire, but all it's really missing is the sticky joysticks. It also has a single-player mode.

It does come with one major caveat, however-it frequently crashes, even in the relatively stable Firefox browser. Don't look forward to playing more than three to five levels without restarting.

A very different alternative is Bubble Tanks.

Graphically speaking, obviously this game is a tank game in name only. In fact, I consider it to be a bit more of a spaceship game with mild physics accuracy, the twist being that space is made up of a bunch of little bubbles. (The "mild physics accuracy" comes from the tank being able to rotate at will [any physics-accurate spacecraft would be able to do the same] and the way that your "tank" gains momentum; that it loses the momentum can be chalked up to the fact that it's a cartoony world where you can build technological devices entirely of bubbles.) It's an engaging game, but I can't really call it a good game for those interested in tank games. I'm more interested in the Bubble Tanks Tower Defense game, to be honest, and that one isn't a tank game at all...

Then there's something completely different: Cantankerous Tank.

Cantankerous Tank is one of those games that's a lot of fun for reasons that are immediately obvious.

Your tank can wear a sweet hat. There are other options, but this one's my favorite.

As you might guess from the fact that the game's graphics show the tank from the side, this is a side-scrolling game. And as you might guess from the tank's relative size on the screen, it's what's known as a rampage game.

That is, you rampage your way through the game, not so much fighting enemies as wrecking scenery and squishing bugs. Cars and tanks explode helplessly under your treads, buildings, helicopters and hot air balloons are destroyed by your cannon and rockets, and so on.


You can jump.

You aren't invincible; the aforementioned tanks and helicopters can damage you with their guns; unless you just aren't paying attention, though, it's pretty much impossible to be destroyed before the level is complete.

And that's assuming single player. In two player, another player can back you up with a gatling cannon-equipped flying saucer.

All in all, this format and this game are pretty fun. Let's see if there are any other good side-scrolling jumping tank games.

There's Zorro Tank.

Sadly, the best part of this game is that all your city citizens must release from terror.

That's right, the single best part of the game is the heavy-duty Engrish.

The game involves a boring little jumping tank firing its boring little cannon at boring little turrets. The controls are rather unintuitive, and just jumping over the stupid turrets is all but impossible.

The thumbs I am giving are the thumbs that point in a way that is not up.

Crash and burn.

The next game is another good one: Super Tank.

Like Cantankerous Tank, Super Tank has delightfully cartoonish visuals; unlike Cantankerous Tank, it also has interesting and inventive enemies populating its world.

Gameplay is probably best described as "like a Super Mario game, but you're a tank."

You have unlimited lives, so the designers felt free to make the bosses PITA (pain in the, er, posterior) puzzle bosses and things very much like them. This one, for instance, tries to smash you against spikes with its drill, and you're simply supposed to dodge it by jumping it. (This image is from after it's beaten.) There's even a boss who is defeated by jumping on a button at a certain time.

After beating each boss, you get a new ability or weapon; here, Super Tank has boosters that increase its jumping height... which I have cleverly failed to demonstrate.

This is an engaging, entertaining game, and well worth playing, although the trial and error against the bosses may frustrate you. (I still haven't gotten past the giant Jabba the Hutt-like crow boss. ...Yes, really.)

Anyhow, in summary, Micro Tanks, Cantankerous Tank, and Super Tank are all good tank games; Bubble Tanks is a good game generally; and stay your citizens away from the Tank of Zorro.

-Signing off.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Then There Was That Time Yoda Used a GIANT CANNON...

...and because of the nature of the story, we know practically nothing about the battle except that it was the one where Yoda used a chaingun.

No, really.

Even crazier is the fact that he hauls the thing around under his own power.

This was, of course, brought to us as part of a tie-in to the Clone Wars shorts, the Clone Wars Adventures. (In the same tie-in, Jedi Aayla Secura had to carry around a quadriplegic, by which I mean dismembered, battle droid to translate Ewok talk. It was that kind of series. [And don't ask how the battle droid knew Ewok. It doesn't matter.])

-Signing off.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Golden Age Moment of the Day (16)

When all else fails, Kid Eternity can make weird choices of summons.

Points go to the author for knowing that name, and possibly off the top of his head. I for one had to look her up.

-Signing off.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Scary Video and Blog Link

Once again.

Today's utterly random video selection is terrifying. You may not want to watch right before bed.

-Signing off.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Discworld Is Good Stuff

So yesterday, I picked up three Discworld books at the nearest book store. (Finished two, working on the third, which I hadn't quite realized I had read before.)

What I find engaging about Pratchett's writing, aside from the humor and vague British charm, is that within its own context, Discworld is frighteningly plausible. Of course, I consider Hitchhiker's Guide to be frighteningly plausible, albeit hopelessly bleak at times. Discworld, despite all the magic bits, is more plausible.

I mean, we're talking first-rate worldbuilding things.

Take trolls.

Discworld trolls are big, rocky creatures, who don't do well in heat for the same reason a computer needs cooling fans-the heat slows down their brains. This informs a tremendous amount of their behavior: They're dumber in summer (cough), and so they tend to prefer mountainous environments. They actually completely freeze up on really hot days, and this is thought to contribute to their enmity with dwarfs, who are avid miners of all things rocky. Since they naturally mimic local rocks, it was somewhat inevitable that there should be a diamond troll, and this troll turned out to be very important. (In case you don't know, not only is diamond very hard, but it also is the best conductor of heat among natural substances, and probably artificial substances, too.)

Or take the oddball entities, such as the Luggage. The Luggage borders on Eldritch Abomination, only it's on a leash of sorts and does your laundry very nicely too. It's like a juggernaut dog travel bag.

Then, there's the fact that the pyramids in the land of Djelibeybi... well, let's just say that they are sort of responsible for the nation being static for seven thousand years, and leave it at that. (Read the book [Pyramids, or if you're lazy, I suppose you could peruse the wiki I've been linking to] if you want to know more than that.)

My point is, well, good stuff. Not that this is news, or anything.

-Signing off.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Cybertron Takes Sides?

So I was watching the rather cool trailer for the upcoming War for Cybertron Transformers game. (I'm rather unlikely to ever play the game; however, the chances that I'll excessively peruse information on it on the Transformers Wiki is as close to unity [i.e. 100%] as such things get.)

(If you want to watch a bigger version, just look at YouTube. I've stuck far too many widescreen vids on this blog and covered stuff over; it's a bad habit I need to get out of.)

After I got over the various things like Optimus's absurd acrobatics, Omega Supreme's dinky, silly head, and Megatron's rather fourth-rate voice, plus the awesome things like Trypticon, the new Bumblebee design, and, well, everything else, I noticed something rather peculiar.

If you watch closely during the firefight (0:30 to 0:40), the Autobots are ducking behind pop-up shields that are coming out of the ground (most notably Bumblebee). Those could, of course, simply be fortifications belonging to the Autobots.

But then, there's the helpful highway that Optimus rides to the rescue (0:45-0:52). Aside from the fact that it seems to be mildly defying gravity, it turns upwards into a ramp to give ol' Op something to car-jump with. And as near as can be told, Optimus is just coming from nowhere in particular. (Alternately, I suppose this could be related to RID's version of the "space bridge.")

Taken separately, those two artifacts could just be random hardware, and all things considered, they probably are just that. (In fact, it kind of seems that the area is probably an Autobot city, and is probably siding with them because they at least partly built and programmed it.)

But taken together, and added to the fact that both of these look like part of Cybertron's surface, which we must remember is actually a living planet, has a subtle (and probably unintentional) implication.

That being that Cybertron has taken a side.

Now, I don't particularly think that this implication will have anything to do with the game, or anything like that. (Though it wouldn't be the first time that Cybertron/Primus took sides.) It's just an amusing little idea that struck me.

And if it were true, it would certainly explain one thing-why Autobots are ground pounders and Decepticons are air warriors. The Autobots want to benefit from the protection of Cybertron's machinery, while the Decepticons want to avoid attacks from it.

Like I said, it's an interesting idea, even if it's not official or has anything to do with anything. But I like it.

-Signing off.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Space Crazy Comics: Double Menace on Jupiter's Moon

This story, from Space Action #1, is all about family, treachery, and unobtainium.

It opens on a prospector finding a dead ship full of shiny stuff.

He thinks the shiny stuff looks pretty, well, pretty, and concludes it could be valuable.

Although his testing method needs work.

Did it occur to you, sir, that perhaps you just have a bad hammer rather than a good sample?

They decide that this new metal, "Asteroidium," is awesome, and needs to be obtained in large amounts.

The government has a most... peculiar method of deciding what company should be permitted to mine it for them.

Perhaps it's a way to get around some form of legislation against no-bid contracts-one of the competitors is pretty shady-but I'm probably giving them too much credit. (Also, technically, hasn't the old prospector already done that? Give him the contract!)

The other competitor, by the way, is the father of the fiance of the first competitor. And so it seems likely there's more to him trying dirty tricks than merely being the winner.

His first dirty trick, sending somebody ahead to ambush the other, ends in failure practically before it begins, when some aliens (who merely look like foreigners, of course) show up and attack them.

Of course, we don't get to see the attack.

They dispatch the ambush ship and then hide in orbit, waiting for the miners' rockets to show up.

Meanwhile, the stupidity of the test (plus the stupidity of the writers) is demonstrated further.

First, note that apparently, each side was supposed to use nigh-identical rockets. Apparently, they only have F1 racing in this future.

Second, physics do not work that way, although hopefully I don't need to point that out.

Needless to say, the team that played things straight (other than breaking the laws of physics) get there first, and they get lots of Asteroidium dug up, when the other dudes show up and threaten to take it from them.

That, of course, is when the alien dreadnought shows up.

They stand no chance against this alien menace, but they're going to give it the old college try or whatever.

Good luck with that...

But dad's still kicking for the moment, and he's got one last trick left...

The alien dreadnought wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisi-er, ramming tactics.

And so...

They splash into each other.

If the rest of it wasn't so bad, that might almost have been uplifting and awe inspiring, and all that.

-Signing off.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Golden Age Moment of the Day (15)

You may have heard of Kid Eternity; he seems to be somewhat more famous than many of the Golden Age characters.

His power to summon historical and mythological characters gives him a most, um... unique way of dealing with thugs...

Oh, for-Paul Bunyan? That's like calling King Kong to deal with muggers, or Godzilla to get a cat out of the tree!

Also, note that Mr. Bunyan is holding those dudes in a very... um, weird sort of way.

-Signing off.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Ghost Post

When I post in my other blog and can't come up with something for this one, I try to post some video here. Hence, this post.


-Signing off.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Slightly Belated Book Reviews: Carnageland

Carnageland (the author has a blog here) is a book in a genre that I don't read, and which I won't be reviewing other books in.

That genre being porn.

I'm not going to discuss that aspect of the book, as it doesn't interest me-I'm mostly doing this review as a favor to one of my readers (the author).

Carnageland, as its name suggests, is a very violent book. It's about a (very) short, (very) bloody invasion of a fairy-tale land by an alien empire, who sends in a grand total of one grunt to eliminate the inhabitants.

The appeal for me personally comes from the allusions and inventive plot tools.

Among the humorous allusions made are to numerous fairy tales and "fairy tale" stories, and to newer series with fairy tale roots, such as Harry Potter. A particularly sublime moment comes when the students of the magic school unleash a deadly weapon they developed on the invader: The Ninjerbread Man. (The other allusion that really jumps at me offhand were the Se7en Dwarves, which amuses me because I recognize that as a reference to a band something; it'd probably have amused me a bit more if I actually knew who they were what it was. [This is just about the only time a "del" tag represents editing my blog.])

One of the inventive aspects of the book is the weapon carried by the invader, the "Doomshooter." It is basically a literal shoots-anything-imaginable gun. That is to say, you imagine something, the Doomshooter can shoot that object as a projectile.

So he fires a lot of fairly standard and obvious things, like freeze blasts, grenades, and death rays. But he also shoots things like universal death plagues, a vaccination for said plague (long story), an umbrella (in order to fly on wind currents), shuriken, a tentacle (!), and a giant iron spike to slay a very bizarre dragon (whose description sounded not at all like any traditional dragon I've ever heard of).

So basically, there are two major aspects to this story: (Rather extreme) sex and violence, and really clever, often cartoony ideas connected to fairy tales (and, to a lesser extent, alien invasions).

If that sounds like an ideal combination to you, this is probably your book. If it doesn't, well... It must not be your book.

-Signing off.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Cheesy "Sci-Fi" Movie Review: D-War

So my sister and I watched this movie last night.

Her conclusion (and mine, too, although hers was more vehement): If they hadn't tried to tell a story, they'd probably have made a better movie.

As it was, it was an incredibly stupid movie that had really, really cool monsters and explosions. The "Atrox Army," the huge mass of various reptilian creatures serving the villain, was very iconic (for me, anyway-as they say on TV Tropes, your mileage may vary)-it's really kind of sad that it's stuck in such a ridiculous movie.

Probably the best plot point in the movie was the zoo security guard who saw the evil Imoogi, Buraki, eating elephants in the zoo. (Why does a titanic serpent dragon from a celestial realm eat elephants? Because he can.) Nobody would believe him, even when Buraki was literally right behind the person who was "evaluating" his psychological fitness. Sadly, we never see if the dude lived to be vindicated.

There were a few tiny clever moments-some people remarked that the best part of the movie was the one in which a dude phases through a glass door, and an old lady tries to follow him through it, only to bump her head and then wander away confused. (Kind of a cruel sense of humor, but it was funny.) There was also a bit where a scientist was analyzing one of Buraki's scales which was kind of interesting because there was speculation as to where it came from... too bad they ruined that by having some guy show up and insist that it was a Korean legendary monster. (Though the skepticism of the guy who was being told this was amusing, if transitory.) One other thing I liked is that it was a fantasy setting that presented the ancient, powerful creatures from heck as being merely relatively evenly matched with the modern army, rather than far outclassing it-that's too rare.

But there are lots of really stupid things, like a pointlessly evil FBI agent who shoots the protagonist in the head at point blank range... and the dude gets back up, completely unharmed, less than a minute later. Granted, he was supposed to be the reincarnation of an ancient Korean celestial warrior guy or something, and he was carrying a magical amulet that was supposed to protect him, but there's no indication they actually contributed.

Conclusion: If you don't have a high tolerance for stupidity, I'd recommend fast-forwarding any time there aren't monster things or explosions on the screen. You'd still need a high tolerance even if you do (the tactics used by the military are positively abysmal, for instance), but hey, them's the breaks.

(My sister says I owe her now for making her watch it; she was all cynical and cranky for the rest of the evening. Also, she is really offended that it somehow got classified as science fiction even though it's really extreme fantasy.)

-Signing off.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Space Crazy Comics: The Guardian Planet

Not going to really do a detailed examination of this one (EDIT: A story from Space War #2, which I got at Golden Age Comic Downloads), at least not compared to my normal stuff, but here's a quick summary.

Jupiter wants to conquer the solar system. The outer planets are too dangerous, so they turn inward first.

But they don't like Mars...

...because Mars is red. The Martians know this, and...

...they turn the other planets red, to discourage the Jovians.

The Jovians apparently are total wimps.

Their hilarious explanation of why they can't stand red? They had an industrial accident that created the Great Red Spot.

All things considered, that's even sillier than thinking the Spot is a continent (there are a few older SF books that treat the Red Spot as such).

-Signing off.