This Guy Is Really Good With A Sword

A few times now, I've posted this clip of zome some guy named Zengar Sanger Zonbolt Zonvolt.



Yes, he just destroyed a difficult-to-count number of robots with essentially a single swing of his sword.

Robots of the same type were proving difficult for other characters to fight one on one.

Could his ability to cut things be crazier? Yeah, of course it could. Behold:



Now, sure, he's not cutting nearly as many things here, but the way he cuts them is in plain defiance of all reason.

Which is why Zangar Zengar that dude is awesome.

Favorite daft crossover theory regarding this character: He's distantly related to the Wulfenbachs from Girl Genius.

-Signing off.

A Little Late For That Observation

Yet another example of why I love anime's approach on explaining things that happen within (with fairly significant SPOILERS):

During the last two episodes of Getter Robo Armageddon, after a long and brutal campaign to take control of the enormous super robot Shin Dragon, several of the villains retreat into space with a super robot. They then throw that super robot's power core and most of the moons of Jupiter into Jupiter to transform it into a star. Not just any star, but a Getter Star (yes, really) that will rapidly become a black hole and destroy the entire universe... or something. (The remaining moon of Jupiter, Ganymede, was used as a weapon against Earth; when the heroes fired the Moon's [y'know, Luna] hyper rail gun at it, the shot was reflected by the villains' Getter Ray enhanced super powers to throw it back at faster than light speed and destroy both the rail gun and half the Moon. Then, they used their super robot to attack Ganymede, but that didn't work and they got tossed into the Earth's atmosphere, where they thought they would burn up, but Shin Dragon woke up just in time to both save them and completely annihilate Ganymede in one attack.

Yeah, it's that kind of series.)

So in order to stop it, the heroes take their robots, Shin Getter Robo and Shin Dragon, to stop the Getter Star from destroying everything. When they get there, they fight against hundreds of giant monsters (whose mere existence violates every law of biology and probably more than a few laws of physics) emerging from the Getter Star, and one of these is a gigantic tentacle.

Then, tentacles made of the plasma of the Getter Star itself attack them.

Then, more giant monsters, the biggest of which have human faces and voices (it's merely the latest of many incarnations of the otherwise faceless Invaders' voices and faces, guys called Stinger and Cohen, except as a moon-sized hybrid monster thing), emerge from the Getter Star, spitting out even-more-indestructible-than-previously spawn to attack with.

When all that doesn't stop the heroes, the villains have the Getter Star regurgitate three of Jupiter's moons to use as pieces of an immense weapon array.

After seeing all of this totally insane stuff, you'd think that that wouldn't get much of a reaction out of the heroes, but this is the classic response that one of them utters:

...I'm pretty sure the laws of physics were thrown out entirely about when Jupiter turned into a Getter Star, you guys, and they weren't feeling too well beforehand.

Here's the thing: It gets more insane after that.

You'll have to find it for yourself if you're interested in that part, though.

-Signing off.

Yes, I've Been Looking at Digimon Stuff Again

So sue me, but I like it.

In the Xros ("cross") Wars anime, which might possibly be translated as "Fusion Battles," although it's a series I have a hard time believing would be good for the American market (it's certainly a kid's series in many regards, but also has pretty hardcore violence and incredibly over the top fanservice), there's a scene where several characters are trapped inside "Prison Land," a place where souls are sent by the villains. (Bare minimum amount of story necessary to understand it.) One of the villains who is there with them is "Apollomon Whispered," an evil personality who overwrote the mind of a good guy, Apollomon.

When Whispered's confidence is driven down by his failure to defeat his enemies, Apollomon's soul comes bursting out of him and blows him up. But before the actual fighting comes this terrific exchange:

(Obviously, the dark one is Whispered.)

(Get ready...)

(In case you can't read these for some reason: Whispered says "It can't be," and Apollomon replies "This is the world of souls. There's nothing strange about this.") And that is the best thing about Xros Wars that isn't spoilery story stuff or visually driven.

-Signing off.

Balgus (From Escaflowne) Is Awesome

I mentioned in my recent sorta-review of Escaflowne that there was an awesome mostly-minor character who died in an early episode.

That dude is Balgus.

(See all those scars? You notice he's sparring with a real sword while not wearing a shirt, right?) Balgus is essentially the main male character's mentor figure, so telling you he dies in the second episode isn't really a spoiler.

Balgus (his name is also rendered "Vargas" sometimes, though only by unofficial translations) is probably the toughest guy in the series, and he's probably way past his prime.

When an unknown, invisible enemy (invisible GIANT ROBOTS WITH METAL TENTACLES) attacks his home country, he tells the main male character to run while he holds them off.

And then he pulls out and unfurls his sword.

Yes, he seems to intend to lead giant robots into a battle against giant robots while on foot.

And you know what? Thanks to an utter disregard for physics...

...he does, and it's actually pretty impressive.

Of course, then he got killed, but nobody's perfect.

I would totally watch a series about this guy in his youth, by the way.

-Signing off.

Golden Age Moment of the Day (64)

From Fantastic Comics #10's Stardust feature...

I'll let you try to hash out how a "thermal spore" (for a fire fungus?) is supposed to cause a planet to spontaneously combust for yourself.

-Signing off.

Golden Age Extended Moment of the Day (63)

The most famous character from Fantastic Comics was probably Stardust (I've mentioned him a few times in the past), and in this story from #7, it's demonstrated why:

Because he and his enemies followed a truly special kind of logic.

For the record, while it would be very bad for the world to stop rotating (the H.G. Wells story The Man Who Could Work Miracles has a depiction with at least limited realism in it, though the means through which rotation was stopped didn't even bother with realism, which is just as well), it wouldn't be the sudden cessation of gravity.

Which you should probably be at least vaguely, intuitively aware of, or at least figure out from looking up gravity on Wikipedia.

-Signing off.

Game Review: Crush the Castle 2

(Don't feel real up to an update over at the Writing Blog, but at least I still have a bit of content here, eh?)

Not too long ago, I reviewed a game called Crush the Castle.

I should have taken a look around the site, because there's a sequel to it, obviously named Crush the Castle 2 (real creative, guys).

Crush the Castle 2 is pretty much a fix for the first game-it adds a whole bunch of features that the first one could have used.

Explosive castle pieces, for instance.

And precision bombs with which to set them off.

This castle literally flies apart-and I do mean literally-when that chain reaction finishes.

There's also more general variety in all aspects of gameplay. There are more different kinds of little people to kill, more different kinds of projectiles of every kind, and even an entirely new variety of projectile, the special effect projectile (provided by a wizard).

And when playing custom castles, a special projectile of epic sort is available.

Three notes: Yes, that is a black hole (the black hole alters the game's gravity in its area, and when it dissipates, the altered gravity reverses, flinging everything away from itself); in this game, instead of corpses, victims of your barrages leave behind indestructible tombstones; and I made that "castle," Wizards of the Coast (in-joke alert) because it was funny.

I did submit it to the online custom database, but that thing doesn't work very well, I'm afraid, and while there's a share feature, that works even worse. Here, I'm playing it in the Castle Builder test screen.

The black hole projectile has an interesting quirk: The little guys tend to croak when they hit anything or anything hits them, even the ground if tipped over slightly, but there's one circumstance in which they don't-if they get grabbed by a black hole while there's nothing else for it to grab. I made a second "castle" that played with this.

What happens?

Well, I named the castle "Twofer (seriously)." (Refer to above notice about its status in the castle database.) Why?

Because, even though there's only one guy, you can make two kills. (For some reason, if he flies offscreen while still alive, when he dies he counts as two deaths. Maybe there's someone on set standing just off camera that he smacks into?)

This game is very similar to its predecessor, but more fun. If you play either of them, play this one-the first one isn't necessary.

-Signing off.

Just Plain Crazy Comics: The Upside-Down Town

This story (from Clue Comics #2) could just as easily be titled "Nightmare and Sleepy Fail Physics Forever." It's easy to see why I'd say this:

This ugly scientist's conclusion that the laws of physics had changed in a single town don't say much for his degree.

You'd think nobody would take him seriously, and at first they don't. Then...
Uh...

What? How does that follow? Why would changed gravity cause people to walk on their hands?

Never mind. Dwelling on it won't help.

Check out Nightmare's weird face in this panel:

Don't worry too much about that duck, it's only barely relevant.

Then, more crazy nonsense ensues:

They're prone to picking on wealthy, well-fed women in this comic (you might recall that when I talked about the first Nightmare and Sleepy story, I mentioned that I omitted a scene involving "the Vanderplop Mansion" in it-that's what I'm talking about).

Anyway, it turns out that Nightmare and Sleepy were chasing the hotel cook, and when they find their way to the kitchen, they confront him.

He throws stuff at them, they throw stuff at him, and they all fall down.

And now, for your amusement, reordered panels free of their original context:

If you omit the first dialogue bubble from this panel...
...and the first panel here, you get something that could make sense (more sense, in fact, than the story itself). Heck, leave those in, and it still makes as much sense as the story does.

Anyway, they find the scientist, who has "collapsed" from the "loss" of gravity, but Nightmare finds a rope tied to his pants. (No, really.)

This is mighty peculiar behavior, and he leads them on a merry chase which he thinks ends with his escape and Nightmare and Sleepy unconscious from knockout gas.

Because, of course, being ugly means you're actually evil in old comics.

What a surprise-it's all been faked.

Specifically, it's a real estate scam.

Why would they want their property in a place where gravity "changed?" Whether it makes any sense, people don't like places that have had natural disasters happen to them, because they worry they'll happen again.

Fortunately (I think), Nightmare and Sleepy are here to save us from this stupid plot. (I was wrong, incidentally-they do have their "darkness-enhanced" costumes a few more times-but I'm pretty sure they had stopped using them long before Nightmare's "Batman ripoff" period started.)

I'd end it here, but there was another panel that got my attention as just too stupid funny to pass up:

That's such a stupid attempt at humor, it spins right back around to being funny, then around to being stupid, and back to funny again.

-Signing off.

Space Crazy Comics: Picking Up From Last Time...

...which was yesterday.

In case you don't remember where we left off for some reason, here's the crux of it:

Here's where the story really picks up. It took the better part of five pages to get to this point, but the rest takes place in just three.

Well, except for this heroic sacrifice thing.

Dunno why it would make the giant, spaceship-grabbing plant stop if there was a little dude out there, but okay...

Note the following: At the beginning of the story, there was a crew of just six on this ship. Now there are two.

Now, check out how big their ship is. Those little specks are people in a crowd.

Holy moly.

All too soon, the horrible peril is upon the Earth: Space spores land on Earth and recreate the asteroid's ecosystem there.

Note that this story came out about fifteen or sixteen years before Anne McCaffrey's Dragonriders of Pern series and its somewhat similar Thread (according to Wikipedia, anyway).

Things look bad, so they call in their cool space tanks and the army.

It doesn't work, so they go all Agent Orange on them, and completely defoliate the entire planet in order to stop the invasion.

Note the admission that they're completely destroying Earth's ecosystem-"Make sure every foot of that soil is tainted with the substance!"

Fortunately (and impossibly), the ecosystem begins its recovery within days.

I should mention that, in this last sequence, I put up every panel of the story between the last panel from the previous post and this last panel here. It just wouldn't have been adequate otherwise.

Anyhow, skipping ahead a bit, some days later the second wave of space spores are incoming, and they send a fleet to deal with them. It's not as easy as it should be, mostly because they didn't open fire when they saw the darned things like they should have (and like any sane being would have). And as a direct result of this, the spores start melting the ships.

Man, this story has everything.

The fleet responds with their weapons after letting the spores eat at the ships' hulls for a bit. Taxpayer dollars at work, folks!

Yeah, guy, don't forget that there's a frikkin' "planet" full of these things out there.

So they go and shoot at the planet. Sadly, it's covered in a "gelatin-like" substance that stops their assault cold (despite pulling in that first ship neatly).

And the "jets" don't fare any better.

Fortunately, the captain gets an idea.

Take a shot. (Wait, I didn't say anything about a drinking game, did I?)

And so...

"Puffff?" Whaaaat?

Anyhow, so the evil plant planet falls into the Sun. And it burns. (Well, technically, it melts, then vaporizes. In the absence of significant amounts of free oxygen, it wouldn't burn at all. But you probably knew that.)

I'll omit the last panel, because it's just of some poorly drawn shirtless happy guys, and I've had to look at it too often already, okay?

(Because, of course, everybody in a spaceship too close to the Sun takes off their shirts. It's the law.)

Anyway, this story is a lot of fun, because it's just about as crazy as they get. Wait, no, I lied-the story with the flaming space zombies in the next issue is quite a bit crazier. But that's for another day.

-Signing off.

Space Crazy Comics: Prisoners of the Incredible Plants

Some of these crazy old things are awesome enough that they deserve more attention than others.

(That, and occasionally they are long and I am sometimes low on time.)

Prisoners of the Incredible Plants, from Space Action #2 (available on Golden Age Comics), is one of my favorite totally insane old stories from these things.

We start with a charming old atomic rocket type spaceship design.

Plus, naturally, physics that defy, well, the laws of physics.

What? "Cut the jets?" Guys, come on.

Oh, never mind.

Amazingly, crashing on that "hard central core" does not reduce the rocket to a piece of molten slag with carbon-based vapors emitting from it. In fact, the worst anybody suffers is a sprained ankle.

How exactly could the second guy tell that everybody was stunned? Please tell me.

Then, as they start exploring, we get our first hint of the titular "incredible plants."

Dang, but those are some burrs I wouldn't want stuck in my glove.

Anyway, that dude's right-these are plants the likes of which have never been seen on Earth.

Yet. (Cue dramatic riff.)

They need some copper to fix their hull (copper? Really? Copper's kind of heavy for that job), and so set out with ore detectors to find some. The plants don't seem too threatening, just kind of weird...

...so far.

But OH SNAP WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING?!

They try to save him with their ray guns, but their aim is sloppy, and they turn him into a crater.

Actually, no, I'm just joking, the dialogue indicates that the plant killed him before succumbing to a sustained bombardment from the guns. But doesn't this look like indiscreet raygun usage to you?

Unfortunately, their mining seems to have caused further issues...

It turns out that the entire ground cover (it's not "grass" like they say it is unless it's an actual species of grass, which seems dubious, considering the nature of the other plants around) is part of the same plant superorganism.

Also, Dawson bites it. Bye, Dawson!

They make an observation of dubious value on the plants...

...but it's still a cool and entertaining bit of insanity.

At great personal peril and suffering more losses, the ship is repaired, and takes off.

But...

Oh snap. Giant rocket-grabbing plant attack.

I'll go out on a limb here, and say that things are about to go from bad to worse.

Sadly for you (if you don't go and download the comic for yourself), you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see what happens next.

-Signing off.