There's nothing wrong with the premise; I love Fishy, for instance, which is a very similar game in terms of the basics, with classic gameplay and concepts.
Big Fish tries to mess with the formula. It gives you missions. The mission in the above? Protect the little red fish, which are your "babies."
If you touch your babies, you eat them. (And the controls are junk.)
THIS IS STUPID.
So my recommendation on this game is... play Fishy instead. There you get to be an ecosystem-wrecking eldritch abomination instead of eating your own babies by accident because your fish is difficult to control.
Yet another example of why I love anime's approach on explaining things that happen within (with fairly significant SPOILERS):
During the last two episodes of Getter Robo Armageddon, after a long and brutal campaign to take control of the enormous super robot Shin Dragon, several of the villains retreat into space with a super robot. They then throw that super robot's power core and most of the moons of Jupiter into Jupiter to transform it into a star. Not just any star, but a Getter Star (yes, really) that will rapidly become a black hole and destroy the entire universe... or something. (The remaining moon of Jupiter, Ganymede, was used as a weapon against Earth; when the heroes fired the Moon's [y'know, Luna] hyper rail gun at it, the shot was reflected by the villains' Getter Ray enhanced super powers to throw it back at faster than light speed and destroy both the rail gun and half the Moon. Then, they used their super robot to attack Ganymede, but that didn't work and they got tossed into the Earth's atmosphere, where they thought they would burn up, but Shin Dragon woke up just in time to both save them and completely annihilate Ganymede in one attack.
Yeah, it's that kind of series.)
So in order to stop it, the heroes take their robots, Shin Getter Robo and Shin Dragon, to stop the Getter Star from destroying everything. When they get there, they fight against hundreds of giant monsters (whose mere existence violates every law of biology and probably more than a few laws of physics) emerging from the Getter Star, and one of these is a gigantic tentacle.
Then, tentacles made of the plasma of the Getter Star itself attack them.
Then, more giant monsters, the biggest of which have human faces and voices (it's merely the latest of many incarnations of the otherwise faceless Invaders' voices and faces, guys called Stinger and Cohen, except as a moon-sized hybrid monster thing), emerge from the Getter Star, spitting out even-more-indestructible-than-previously spawn to attack with.
When all that doesn't stop the heroes, the villains have the Getter Star regurgitate three of Jupiter's moons to use as pieces of an immense weapon array.
After seeing all of this totally insane stuff, you'd think that that wouldn't get much of a reaction out of the heroes, but this is the classic response that one of them utters:
...I'm pretty sure the laws of physics were thrown out entirely about when Jupiter turned into a Getter Star, you guys, and they weren't feeling too well beforehand.
Here's the thing: It gets more insane after that.
You'll have to find it for yourself if you're interested in that part, though.
A game that has achieved a lot of notoriety on the internet but which I will never, ever touch with a ten foot pole is I Wanna Be the Guy.
Why don't I wanna be The Guy? Because in order to become The Guy, you have to put up with insane cheap shots like this every few seconds.
Everything kills you in this game. (Well, not things that turn you to stone for a few seconds, but if you get turned to stone, you fall like, well... a rock, and the area where this happens has lots of places you'll die if you fall.) Those apples? Any one of them is instant death. So are spikes. So is the moon. Yes, the moon.
And so is this cutscene if you aren't forewarned.
That's right: Dracula's wine glass is instant death, during a cutscene.
And possibly the single most infamous and mind-boggling lethal trap in the game:
Yes, you can be killed by this (fake) error dialog, which I've read closes the game if you click on it (making it a more insidious trap than usual).
The game is practically designed to screw with your instincts, and even if you're really good (much better than I am), you'll die almost constantly. There are a few people who have completed the game on Impossible, which has no save points and thus forces people to replay the whole game upon a single death, but the primary person I've heard of who did this is Japanese, and in Japan they practically start playing video games in the womb. (At any rate, playing through the game on Impossible requires not only insane reflexes and control but perfect memory, because the slightest misstep will result in instant death.)
Oh, yeah, and there are spikes or other instant death zones smeared across the ground of every single room in the game, sans one which has no real part in gameplay except as a red herring.
(If you're curious, but like me uninterested in playing, YouTube has thousands of playthrough type videos, and TVTropes has a page. With regards to the videos, it's like watching a Looney Tunes cartoon, only more violent and sadistic. And Looney Tunes is already pretty darned violent and sadistic. I watched one YouTube user struggle through sixty-some videos. He never did get to be The Guy.)
If you have to cheat to get through Eversion (like I did), this game isn't for you. If you don't mind dying a lot in frustrating ways, well, maybe it is.
Y'know, I've never been on board with this "absentee voting" bull. As far as I'm concerned, if you can't be bothered to go to the voting facility, you probably don't care enough to be involved in the political process (or you may be involved, one way or another, in extensive vote fraud, which is something that absentee voting helps right along). The only reason you should be permitted to use absentee ballots is because it would literally be physically impossible for you to use the voting facilities in your district (e.g. you were overseas at the time).
Making this even worse are the postcards sent to me (and also my sister) telling me how easy and convenient it would be to get an absentee ballot. When I say postcards, I mean I got two. On the same day.
Which, it just so happens, was today.
Good thing I don't truck with absentee ballots, because if I had waited for my opportunity (at least through this group here), I might not have been ready until the next major election.
Makes me feel like they don't want me to vote. All things considered, they probably don't.
Probably my favorite Golden Age character who never made it out of the Golden Age is the Iron Ace. He just seems to have the perfect combination of interesting concepts and total insanity to hold my attention and amuse me. (The other main candidate would have to be Micro-Face, whose name alone is made of concentrated awesome/stupid, but Micro-Face's stories tended to be a bit more mundane.)
The story of the Iron Ace starts with this panel.
Golden Age exposition: The only thing faster than the speed of light.
Unfortunately for him, the Nazis do show up.
And so he's shot.
But in a plot twist that's so obvious that you'd have to have such a strong resistance to foreshadowing that I suspect it's more likely that you're actually dead and haven't noticed yet, the Iron Ace's armor leaps forth from the case it's in. And he proceeds to mete out a helping of ghostly justice upon those Nazis.
Of course, here's the really crazy part: That's not a ghost in there, that's some British pilot who the old man rescued and who hid under the armor, and then climbed into it when the Nazis shot the old man.
And the only thing we know to call him is... Captain Britain. No joke. (Although also no relation.)
So how come this ancient suit of armor is bulletproof? Who knows?
Why was the ancient guy called "Iron Ace?" No clue.
How come the old man made (or rather, modified) a plane specifically for the Iron Ace? Aside from the obvious answer that this was an Air Fighters feature, we can't say.
How is Captain Britain able to run around in the armor as effortlessly as if he's in workout sweats? You've got me. (Dude is insanely strong-at one point, he had a ball and chain affixed to him to hold him while still wearing his armor and casually started beating the tar out of people with it.)
He's just an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in an inexplicably indestructible suit of plate armor.
So on Christmas, one of the presents was this "new MOTU" DVD collection.
I looked at it, and automatically assumed from its thickness that it must contain multiple DVDs; as it has a total of ten episodes, this didn't seem unreasonable.
(The other DVD cases I'm comparing it to are those of The Incredibles and a cheap $1 DVD set case-the latter being the most efficient usage of materials I've ever seen in a sturdy DVD case.)
So, what do I find when I look inside?
The weirdest DVD case interior I've ever seen.
There is only one DVD. Hopefully it does in fact contain the declared 10 episodes.
Further...
Do you see this? It's a small inner wrapper.
I am inclined to say this is the most egregiously wasteful DVD case I've ever seen.
Of course, it may provide slightly better protection for the DVD than other cases I've seen. But it's still wasteful.
We start at an "isolated" radar "tracking" post...
The excessive "use" of "quotation marks" in the "narration" and "dialogue" makes me "raise" my "eyebrow."
Anyway, in a less sarcastic vein, the fact that their radar screen seems to be showing a silhouette of a spaceship cracks me up. They are unable to identify the craft as any known type of vehicle, so they phone it in.
The mystery craft seems to handle a landing at 400+ miles an hour awfully well...
...if completely without anything resembling grace. Ah, well.
So are we about to get a look at just what kind of crazy persons were piloting that ship?
No. But we do see their handiwork.
Those jerks! They killed some old guy!
His daughter sees what happened from the house, and flees in her car. Where does she go?
Why, to Spurs Jackson's house, of course!
She looks suspiciously like one version of Thula, and she's on a first name basis with Spurs. Peculiar.
Are you wondering just what kind of highly advanced craft Spurs is taking to investigate?
Sorry, but apparently the government got tired of all those darned cowboys just tearing off in rockets whenever their wanderlust hit. So Spurs is stuck in a plane. (There's actually an earlier story where he takes a plane around, too, but I'm saving that one for last. Next week.)
He wants to investigate, and seeing a gaping hole in the side of the barn down there makes him decide to be as cautious and stealthy as possible.
This doesn't work very well...
Spurs claims that his luck's run out, but even considering that in a consecutive panel he hides his gunbelt so that theoretically they'll never suspect he was carrying a piece in the first place, I'd say he's pretty darned lucky yet, seeing as how...
...he's stumbling on a secret Communist Russian mission with half a dozen soldiers with assault rifles, and he somehow lives even though they see him.
There goes plausible deniability.
Also, seeing as how an old man who got shot in the heart earlier is somehow still alive and apparently completely unhurt, there goes plausibility.
We get a very small glimpse under the "saucer's" hood...
What do you do when you have a guy at your mercy in Space Western Comics?
Tell them your whole entire plan in detail!
He plans to cover it up...
...but it would have been easier to cover it up by just killing Spurs right off the bat.
No wonder the Soviet Union collapsed, huh?
The old man's reaction is amusing.
Especially since he makes an oblique statement alluding to Jesse James's ghost, which if taken literally might mean that the old man worships Wild West outlaws. Which is actually awesome in a stupid kind of way.
Then, the cavalry shows up.
So the call that guy made earlier wasn't completely pointless, just mostly pointless.
Considering the disappointing quality of this story (primarily the total lack of totally insane nonsense science talk), I was hesitant to present this one. Fortunately, there was a short Space Western Comics feature in the same issue which was worthy of attacking.
No, the thing that really gets me is that, in the other issue, this spot was taken up by what claims to be a historical account. (I thought I had heard a similar account before; however, a quick Google search turns up nothing relevant. This site describes what would have been somewhat similar encounters in the same time period, give or take a bit.)
I guess the writers just like screwing with science.
I did some looking around. It looks rather like there's a limited supply of Space Western Comics on the Internet, and I've already got the two issues available for download. So this feature is living on borrowed time. (On a brighter note, I am now the #2 ranked Google hit for "Space Western Comics.") Don't think I'm going to stop reviewing crazy space comics just because there won't be any more Space Western Comics (in the near future), though-I've found plenty more.
Today's is a Spurs Jackson and His Space Vigilantes feature from #42. What do they do this time?
Have an ugly title card, if nothing else. Man, look at that!
Ugly title cards aside, let's see what they're up to.
Mars is getting redder? Weird.
Hey, you know what's weird about this comic? The fact that somehow, these cowboys know all about stuff in space.
Except Hank Roper, apparently. That guy really shouldn't even be allowed near a rocket ship, man.
And yes, I know it's an effort to work in details of actual outer space factoids, but putting cowboys on rocket ships kind of defeats that purpose already, doesn't it?
They have one ship sit on Deimos, while they land on Mars, where they meet up with Thula.
Note that she looks very different from her other appearances-apparently, the artists didn't compare notes.
So what's up with the thinning air? Get ready...
Actually, the reason Mars is red is because it already is covered in rust dust. If it's getting redder, that doesn't seem likely.
Fortunately, this isn't insany-head science failure-or would that be unfortunately? This is Space Western Comics, after all.
Incidentally, the fact that Spurs is the honorary Prime Minister explains why he doesn't have to spend all his time on Mars. Apparently, he gets all of the benefits and none of the duties. Ahhhh, nepotism.
Notice that Strong Bow is talkin' like an Injun here, instead of being articulate as he is in most stories.
So, what's up with the moonwaker? Dunno yet.
But here we have a nice scientific error to make fun of, as well as a funny speech pattern.
Yes, it is the fault of... THE MOOOOON!
...
Sorry, I was just having a flashback to some anime.
Anyway, they decide to go take a look at Phobos.
But their efforts at stealth are for naught.
Get ready for a Space Western Comics moment:
They're using a giant vacuum cleaner to suck up Mars' atmosphere. (As an interesting aside, apparently Mars' atmosphere is artificial, just like in Edgar Rice Burroughs' Barsoom stories.)
The air is somehow being stored as a liquid.
They also discover some explosives.
Uh-oh, what are those rascals planning?
Spurs goes to get the other Space Vigilantes, I guess. But he's being followed.
And he's momentarily captured, and brought before some guy!
Whoops, looks like the plot just jumped ahead some.
They're planning on using missiles to blow up the capitol? Why?
Thank you, Mr. Information and Fiendish Expositor.
We rejoin the Space Vigilantes in a cell. What will they do now?
They've got rope? In a prison cell? Oh, no, don't do it!
We also see that there's a vicious rumor machine on Mars.
So will the Vigilantes escape in time to do anything?
Well, sorta.
What just happened?
Those clever, clever Vigilantes.
Notice that this means that they only loaded explosives into their missiles at some point after they captured the Vigilantes, possibly only minutes before launch. This is really, really strange.
With the badguys' plot neutralized, they have a spaceship fight, which can have only one conclusion.
And so the day is saved and stuff.
This panel strikes me as ironic.
I mean, sure, there were traitors other than the guy on the spaceship they shot down, but that's still kinda funny.
Of course, what do you expect out of some guys called Space VIGILANTES?
I review this only for completeness; like The Black Hole, this film came in a boxed set. The fact that it came in a box that I felt compelled to mock alone was a warning sign; that I enjoyed The Black Hole and Final Days of Planet Earth (for which a review is upcoming) are good signs.
But Supernova just stinks.
First up, Supernova is three hours long.
THREE HOURS. (It originally aired as two episodes; yes, this is made-for-TV movie. I guess you get what you pay for-although those all air on cable now...)
That might not be so bad, but what you get is three hours of bull like this.
I nearly cheered when that guy got incinerated. "That guy" is somebody-or-other Sheppard, a "brilliant" scientist who believes that the Sun is much older than we thought, and that it's about to die in a supernova (hence the film's title). We know that's the premise from the beginning; there's not really any mystery to unravel at all.
Of course, as you would learn if you looked at Wikipedia's entry on it, the idea of the Sun going supernova without warning is utter nonsense.
A simple, basic knowledge of astronomy (as per even the simplest college course, or even a high school science textbook) would also tell you that this is nonsense. Why?
Well, we're reasonably confident that we can guess at the age of the Sun with some accuracy. We really don't know that much about the Sun itself, but we can see millions of stars to compare it to. We don't have any good experimental data, but we have a huge amount of observational (or to use a better term, empirical) data. Further, only big stars, and I do mean big stars, have ever been observed doing anything remotely like erupting in supernovae. (Let's not even get into the fact that the film seemed to be implying that the reason the Sun acted up was actually because a chunk of a planet that got blown up by some other supernova fell into it. That's not just bad physics, that's Space Western Comics physics.)
If the Sun were really as much older as they supposed it might be, it would be showing its age rather than looking the age that we guessed it to be. And how would it show its age? Well, over a period of thousands (upon thousands) of years, its light would get redder, and it would expand in size. Eventually it would get big enough to destroy all life on Earth, and then probably the Earth itself.
There are worse problems with the film, like the fact that the Sun shoots fireballs at Earth with uncanny precision. As noted on Wikipedia, the Earth would essentially be tiny in the Sun's sky, an itty-bitty speck, so basically, unless it shot out many many hundreds or even thousands of fireballs in random directions, it's very unlikely that even one would hit Earth. Yet fireballs hit Earth on at least three separate occasions, and they seemed to be numerous events rather than three big discrete ones. That might just be scattering, but the idea that it was randomly shooting them makes no sense at all.
Thus, we can conclude that, for whatever reason, somehow the fireballs were directly fired at the Earth itself.
And thus, one must conclude that the Sun either came to life and was annoyed at the inhabitants of Earth for some reason, or was briefly possessed by a demon. Something kind of like this, perhaps.
Which convinced my sister that behind the scenes somewhere, the Pope was busy performing a really big exorcism.
The rest of the movie is pretty trite, too. For instance, the Arch gets destroyed just like in The Black Hole. Then there's all these stupid subplots, such as one about how governments around the world secretly set up shelters so that humanity could survive, but they gonna let everybody else die without tellin' 'em.
I hate to point this out to the movie's creators, but the negative portrayal of this is pretty stupid. Sure, choosing who lives and dies is cruel and vicious, but it's better than letting everybody die, isn't it? (Not that anybody would have survived an actual supernova; it turned out the Sun didn't explode. Kind of disappointing, really; I'd have preferred that everybody died because they were all so annoying.)
There was also a stupidly predictable plotline with a serial killer on death row (in Australia, where there is not currently a death penalty) escaping and coming after the lady who fingered him as the killer. She shoots him lots of times.
That may have been the best part of the movie (after the Sheppard guy getting vaporized), but I don't know because I'd stopped watching by that point.
Yes, it's that bad. (I don't think I need to establish any further reputation for my ability to watch bad movies at this point.)
A disaster movie so full of nonsense science that it will probably make physicists turn into black holes from the density of their massive anger. (Incidentally, here's a more coherent and logical review. I'm about to retreat into crazyland.)
A safer approach probably would have been to call the object the "amazing massive space booger of death" (AMSBOD). This actually would have been less insulting to the viewer's intelligence, and would also conveniently have an alternate explanation for the black hole's behavior (it's really sticky). Since this is my review, I think I'm actually going to do that.
The movie goes something like this. A hot scientist (played by Kristy Swanson), an old geezer scientist, and some geeky kid scientist find out something bad happened inside their particle accelerator. The geezer and the geek put on radiation suits and hop into a Cushman so they can drive around in the giant maintenance tunnels. Then, when they get close to the mysterious anomaly (actually an AMSBOD), a giant semi-transparent, static-filled alien monster eats the geezer by vaporizing him, while the AMSBOD sticks to the geek and the Cushman and absorbs them into its boogermass. (Hilariously, the hot scientist says to him "Why are you going the wrong way?") Yes, you read that right. (Okay, so there were what looked like gravitational effects. My story is that it's a sticky space booger [really sticky], and I'm stickin' to it. Pun intended.)
Why is there a staticky invisible monster involved with the "black hole?" If it were actually a black hole, it would make no sense, but since this is actually an AMSBOD, we can infer that this is a common property of AMSBODs. Let's move on.
The army concludes that this is an emergency, and grabs a hung-over, frizzy-haired scientist who used to work at the lab (played by Judd Nelson-the scientist, not the lab), since he is the foremost expert on the movie's stupid version of "black hole" science. They examine the evidence, and eventually conclude rather strangely that the AMSBOD alien somehow caused the accident. You do realize, sirs, that this basically would make the alien a self-creating deity of some kind?
Anyway, the AMSBOD alien sneaks around in the facility for a while, tearing up cables and eating electricity and people. It eventually bursts out of a vent, eats a couple more guys (and makes some throw-away character throw up), and then runs away when the alarms go off. Keep in mind, the AMSBOD has been sitting there for hours. How come nothing has happened yet?
Let me take a momentary aside and explain the problem. See, a black hole is essentially an infinitely dense speck of material whose "event horizon" determines its effective "size." The event horizon is a place of gravitational cutoff-nothing on the one side stands a chance of escaping. What this means is that a black hole is smaller than an atomic nucleus. Generally also, black holes will not be significantly affected by any forces other than gravity, so far as we know. What does this mean?
It means the black hole ought to rapidly (and I do mean rapidly) fall to the center of the Earth, where we can neither do anything about it nor see what's happening. One of two things would then happen.
First possibility (let me emphasize "possibility") is that the black hole will "evaporate." According to some famous scientist guy, black holes emit radiation (I'm grossly oversimplifying) that will eventually bleed off all their mass, despite being inescapable. A small black hole actually would emit this radiation more rapidly, and thus theoretically evaporate really quickly. (Of course, it's emitting vast amounts of radiation, so that's not a good thing-in fact, a tiny black hole would for all intents and purposes be a nasty, nasty bomb.) If this happened, there might be all kinds of trouble from the energy emissions, but probably, nothing world-ending would happen.
The other possibility is that the black hole would absorb all of Earth's mass. Definitely a bad thing.
Here's the reason neither of these things will have a movie made about them: Too boring. Either the world will end fairly quickly, with little special effects except at the end, or nothing much will happen.
Anyway, back to the movie and its space booger.
The AMSBOD monster runs away, riding around on power lines somehow and seeking out power stations. (Of course, what it's actually seeking out are large transformer stations, not power generation stations, so far as I can tell, but who am I to quibble?) It's tracked at various times by news and military helicopters, and it eventually stops at a power (transmission) station, where it eats a guy and then starts eating power. Frizzy Judd concludes, since the AMSBOD only seems to grow when the monster feeds, that it is somehow sending what it eats back to the AMSBOD. While this is kinda nonsensical, it's interesting, and at least they're using the right piece of nonsensical technobabble (quantum tunneling) this time around. It's also kinda cool to see a big sparky magic thing skittering around on power lines like a gigantic spider made of lightning.
Because of the damage the monster does, an ambulance goes past nearby, and the monster reacts negatively to the sound. Frizzy Judd concludes that the monster probably doesn't like sound "because it comes from a quiet part of the universe." Well, if it is from "outer space," it probably has never heard anything in its life, I suppose. He tests the theory by using his flinker to set off the car alarm. When the alien shoots lightning at the car (an H2, by the way), he concludes that he's correct.
Then they steal the van of the guy that the monster ate. (Hot scientist stops Frizzy Judd from breaking the window, because the car wasn't locked.) In the meantime, the booger has gotten big enough that it destroys the lab. Bizarrely, its "gravitational" effects don't start until it has leveled the walls of the particle accelerator-apparently, the materials used there are opaque to the forces that the AMSBOD uses to stick to objects. It eats a few military people, including the guy who barfed earlier, but nobody important, so it wasn't that big a deal. (Although my sister was sad because it ate "the pretty lady." This is the only time I mention "the pretty lady," so you can guess how important she was to the plot.)
Except for the part where the booger starts wandering around, making a big furrow in the ground.
The film is set in St. Louis, and so, of course, it heads straight for the Arch. The general in charge of the military response wants to go "nuke-yoo-ler" on the AMSBOD, but Frizzy Judd insists that doing that would be crazy, and could cause all kinds of bad stuff, like splitting it into pieces or making it fly around. I could see the flying around because of kinetic energy being imparted, but I'm not sure where he got the idea that a nuke could possibly split apart a singularity. Perhaps he had come to the conclusion that it was a new phenomenon, and was only referring to it as a black hole for convenience.
The booger creates a giant destructive vortex and then sucks up the Gateway Arch, while the Army tries to put together a good enough plan to stop the monster, which, Frizzy Judd thinks, could be used to stop the AMSBOD by taking it back and throwing it in there. How he thinks this could possibly be a good idea, I don't know, but that's what they decide the plot is. Roll with it, it's a bad movie.
So they give some army men some "concussion grenades," which theoretically are loud enough to bother the monster, and they helicopter in a big box (probably a converted cargo canister such as are used by semi trucks, judging by appearances) with fiddly bits on it, which they hope will serve as a monster cage. The grenades don't work very well (should have given them boom boxes or hand sirens or something) and guns are totally pointless, and when they get the monster somewhat close to the box after heavy losses, it uses its lightning to telekinetically pick the box up and throw it at the remaining soldiers, apparently crushing them. (The special effects fell short a bit; it looked a lot more like it landed in front of them.) Then the monster runs away.
They give Frizzy Judd and hot scientist thanks for the advice, but it's nuke time. They ready a nuke, while the president rehearses a terrible speech in an effort to raise tension (though the effect is actually to kill it almost completely). They kind of seem to think that hitting the AMSBOD itself makes more sense than nuking the darned monster; I don't see how this makes any sense at all.
Anyway, they try to send Frizzy Judd and hot scientist away with the evacuation, but they refuse because they want to try their plan again, but with fewer resources and less backup, and Frizzy Judd steals a generator truck and takes it to where the monster is feeding. The station where it's feeding gets turned off, the generator truck is the only source of power around, and the monster decides to sit on top of the truck and quietly ride it, rather than sucking it dry in an instant, killing Frizzy Judd, and wandering off somewhere.
In the climax of the film, an F-117 is sent in to do the nuking. This is stupid for various reasons, the primary one of which is that, well, F-117s aren't intended to deliver nukes. Meanwhile, Frizzy Judd drives the generator truck at the AMSBOD at high speed and hot scientist guides him with GPS. The president, who is watching with a TV, tells the pilot to hold his fire until they can see what's happening with the truck. Frizzy Judd fools around with the truck's fire extinguisher for no clear reason (maybe he just was thinking back to the time heopened up the Autobot Matrix of Leadership and blew away a giant space devil and the fire extinguisher was looking like a good deus ex machina at that point) and then jumps out, letting the truck's momentum carry it and the monster to the AMSBOD.
Despite all the flying debris being sucked in by the AMSBOD, followed by the massive electricky explosion emitted by the booger after the monster hits it, Frizzy Judd is fine, blah blah who cares happy ending.
So what can we surmise about the weird events of the movie?
I'd guess that the AMSBOD was actually some form of evil portal to an alternate dimension, and the monster was an eldritch being from that dimension, making sacrifices in order to increase its own power. (A little bit like the Warp from Warhammer 40,000, for instance.) The particle accelerator simply gave the creature a convenient point of entrance, and was almost coincidental.
...
What? It makes at least as much sense as how they described it!
I've decided I might as well review a few more free online games, seeing as how they're free and all.
Today, I'll be talking about Fishy, which is indeed fishy. (EDIT: Put up a new link, because the old one was dead.)
Fishy is one of those various games where you play a fish that eats other fish and must avoid being eaten by other fish.
Like the majority of such games, you grow over time as you eat other fish-in fact, in Fishy this growth is probably the most significant in any of these games I've ever seen.
I'll note that this is a low-production value game-the fish all look the same, even yours, only distinguished from each other by color.
It's actually very hard to survive the first fifteen seconds if you aren't ready for it-you have to dodge like mad as huge masses of fish ranging from big to huge swarm onto the screen. Once the game is in progress, things become more predictable.
The "enemy" fish are highly variable. While the big ones are usually slow and the small ones are usually fast, some of the big ones are every bit as fast as the tiniest fish. Stay near the middle of the screen, since they come from the sides, and stay away from big clusters of fish.
As you get bigger, you are more likely to run into still larger fish (even touching the tail of a bigger fish is instant death, but the flipside is that you can eat fish with your own tail), since you occupy more space, but eventually it reaches the point where you just aren't threatened by the other fish anymore.
There's always a bigger fish, and here it's you.
If that isn't absurd enough for you...
...it gets worse.
Can this go on indefinitely? Certainly not. Behold the "victory screen."
Apparently, if you're successful at the game, you become a fishy of mass destruction (or worse). Which, all things considered, is appropriate enough... I mean, really, if the fish outclasses the other fish in intelligence and maneuverability to that extent, it's a godlike superpredator, and that ecosystem's got no natural enemies for it. I mean, obviously the bigger fish are a threat, but not enough of one...
And there I go superimposing serious scientific discussion onto a stupid little flash game. I'm a nerd.
