Since this is the twenty-fifth anniversary of Transformers, and is further seeing the debut of the third Transformers feature film, I figure it'd be a fun little exercise to put together some of my favorite quotes (and many other people's favorites) from the entire history of the metafranchise.
(Note that my selection process for actual quotes is actually pretty much based on the lines either being funny, or a little bit inappropriate for children. Or both. Don't ask which are which.)
"I've got better things to do tonight than die!"
-Springer, Transformers: The Movie.
"This is the world, Mr. Drath. Everything is for sale."
-"Snake" (Cobra Commander), Only Human.
"Are... are you my father?"
-Nosecone, Grimlock's New Brain.
"No planet ever lost its orbit underestimating the stupidity of Starscream."
-Astrotrain, Triple Takeover.
"I'm stupid! I'm stupid!"
-Starscream, Triple Takeover.
"Just don't stand there with your cockpits open, you fools!"
-Megatron, Quest for Survival.
"Now remember, before you do anything, think, 'Is this what Sky Lynx would do in my position?', and you will not go far wrong."
-Sky Lynx, Call of the Primitives.
"Me Grimlock feel important!"
-Grimlock, Call of the Primitives.
"Decepticons! Leave this place... or die!"
-Zombie Optimus Prime, Dark Awakening.
"Revenge: soon. Anticipation: high. Vengeance: GOOD!"
-Omega Supreme, The Secret of Omega Supreme.
"We're all gonna die."
-Rattrap, numerous times.
"Die-cast construction. It's a lost art."
-Optimus Primal, The Agenda (part III).
"Peh, educational stuff. I'd rather [be] watching things explode."
-Rattrap, Go with the Flow.*
"Waspinator want to re-negotiate contract!"
-Waspinator, Go with the Flow.
"Kicker! Don't be an idiot!"
-Hot Shot, Cybertron City.
"If you want to ignore my orders, then I have no choice but to send you back to your mother."
-Optimus Prime, Energon Stars.
"Tidal Wave! Tidal Wave! Tidal Wave!"
-Tidal Wave, lots and lots of times.
"Huh? Where are those Autobots go?"**
-Demolishor, Megatron's Sword.
"Optimus Prime! Super mode! Powerlinx! Optimus Prime! Super mode!"
-Optimus Prime, The New Cybertron City.
"Megatron lives! Megatron lives! Megatron lives!"
-Tidal Wave, Megatron Resurrected.
"I know what you're after, Megatron! You want our energon!"
-Optimus Prime, Megatron Raid.
"What's this? Hot Shot's blaster-but why is he giving it to me?"
-Optimus Prime, Starscream the Mysterious Mercenary.
"If you're trying to make me angry, you're doing a good job! But trust me, Junior... you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
-Megatron, Battle of the Asteroid Belt.
"...It's the awesome power of energon! Amazing!"
-Optimus Prime, Energon Tower.
"I can't let those Terrorcons steal any more energon. So don't even attempt to revive Unicron. That's our new mission. And that's why I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."
-Hot Shot, Rodimus: Friend or Foe?
"Hang in there Kicker! Just use your body to control your momentum HEYYYYYY! You gotta do what I say, you understand? ...Use your body, Kicker! It'll help you move in zero gravity!"
-Ironhide, Go for Unicron!
"Whoah. Dinobots! I thought they were extinct!"
-Jetfire, The Return of Demolishor.
"I could annihilate the Decepticons by deploying the energon grid. But then I run the risk of destroying the entire universe, because it's loaded with raw energon!"
-Optimus Prime, The Return of Demolishor.
"Here's the plan. We'll attack Unicron and defeat Megatron. Let's do it!"
-Optimus Prime, Unicron Unleashed.
"Heh heh heh. It always amazes me when someone wants my job."
-Megatron, Open Fire!
"This is Unicorn!"
-Galvatron, The Emperor of Destruction Vanishes on an Iceberg.***
-Sixshot, The Emperor of Destruction Vanishes on an Iceberg (in response to the above).
"I am Wreck-Gar! I dare to be stupid! I will destroy the whole city!"
-Wreck-Gar, Garbage In, Garbage Out.****
Things That Should Be Said
"I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do is very pretty."
-Sky Lynx, original line by yours truly (and obviously riffing on some other more famous line).
"Sometimes Waspinator thinks universe hates Waspinator. Other times, Waspinator wonders if maybe universe loves Wazpinator. Finally, Waspinator realized that universe and Waspinator in love/hate relationship."
-Waspinator, original monologue by yours truly.
"Wheelie say you die today."
-Wheelie, probably seen in some photocomics.
"Want to join the Decepticons again? We've got energon goodies!"
-Megatron, top caption here.
"A laser gun just came out of my chest! ...perhaps it belongs to Hot Shot."
-Optimus Prime, top caption here.
"Hi, we turn into fat guys."
-Sharkticons, formerly the top caption here.
Things That Shouldn't Be Said But Are Kinda Funny
"I (expletive) your mom."
-Optimus Prime, Shortpacked.
"Wheelie say no (expletive) way."
-Wheelie, probably seen in some photocomics.
*These quotes were pulled from the TFWiki. I think this one's messed up.
**This one isn't. That is, it's the actual line from the episode.
***This was from the RTM 1 dub of The Headmasters. This dub is sometimes known as the "crackhead dub." We think he meant Unicron, except that he was actually talking about this.
****Wreck-Gar was voiced by Weird Al in that series.