I'm Jealous of Fryhtan Parents...

...because the names they get to call their kids by are incredible. ([Note than in Seven Kingdoms and Seven Kingdoms II, individuals were given individual names.] Not that I think Fryhtans are likely to have parents in the traditional sense of the word. As near as I can tell, Fryhtans are spawned from the warm, wet, and squishy floors of their lairs at the behest of their All High masters. For some reason, this requires gold. And if you're wondering what in the world I'm talking about, just click the "seven kingdoms" tag.)

So what are the most impressive Fryhtan names, the ones that stand head and shoulders Grokken-style above the rest?

Well, first I'll compile my top ten (in no particular order), and then have a list of honorable mentions. The spellcheck is going to hate me for this...

10. Nuonekh. I'm not sure just what it is about "Nuonekh" that amuses me so. I think it has something to do with how much it sounds like "no neck," which is very funny. The oddball spelling also makes me think of "nek battledogs," so that might also be a contributing factor.

9. Smaucross. I think the best thing about "Smaucross" is that for no apparent reason, I imagine it being pronounced by a stuffy British guy. "Smaucross, your tea is served." No, it doesn't make any sense.

8. Coassdzains. One of the things about Fryhtan names that makes them distinctive is that they look vaguely Welsh. That said, I have no idea whether there's a compiled database of Fryhtan names, or if there's a primitive name generator in 7KII's code. Anyway, this name has even more bizarre spelling and probable pronunciation than most Fryhtan names.

7. Oadmoack. I just like the way I imagine it sounds. ("Ode-moke." Say it a few times.)

6. Uetkluoph. I like seeing "ph" in words, and I also like seeing vowels that look like they should be pronounced individually.

5. Khroack. There needs to be a Fryhtan name generator online somewhere. Seriously.

4. Urbregs. I like "ur" as a word/prefix.

3. Phebress. This happens to be the name of an independent Grokken Ordo you can hire in one of the 7KII tutorials. Since Grokken are my favorite Fryhtans, and Phebress was my first impression of them, you can guess how I probably feel about Phebress.

2. Krauckuss. I'm not perfectly 100% on the spelling of this, because I recently lost the sheet of paper I wrote it down on ages ago (I wrote it down ages ago, then lost the piece of paper recently), but I'm pretty sure it would be pronounced the same. I guess I just like seeing "au" in words, too. Heck, I just like seeing "u" in words.

1. Visbraync. I had this written on the same sheet of paper as the above, so the same remarks apply. This name goes the extra mile-if it was just "Visbrayn," that would be cool enough, but that extra "c" really makes it perfect.

Honorable mentions:

Oakhclaij (easy to misread as "Oakhclau" in the 7KII font, which is also a cool name)
Aikhglut
Aizhgoum (note that "zh" is used in dictionary pronunciation guides to represent the "j" sound, so that's "Aijgoum")
Glaena
Phigluoms
Triacqouvs
Thauphxec
Shuophroi
Oullsoaph
Aikauq
Shoichrauck
Gaec
Oarmikh
Quoisti
Quess
Aitux
Aksack
Kraex
Uphoar
Gloaxix
Goik
Skoirsbrack
Cloucona
Brogue (yes, really-I've seen it more than once, too)
Ellsguokhs
Slaezh
Oartoak

Yeah, I'm still enamored of these silly names a decade later. Go figure.

-Signing off.