(There's probably no way to make my regular readership lower. Only one way to find out, though...)
(In response to the trailer's last statement, and the title of this post) Um, no thank you.
You know, I watched this movie as a kid. But I never, never, even in my wildest and most fever-inspired dreams, actually suspected that it was a theatrical release.
Lots of people express disdain, to put it gently, for the Rock Lords (stronger even than their disdain for Gobots). Little wonder:
(Sad fact: I've got more than half of those toys.) Yes, the Rock Lords get around by climbing hills, turning into rocks, and then rolling down them. (They actually do this in the film.) Yeah, Megatron's useless altmode looks less bad now; at least he changes to a convenient carrying size.
Of course, since they lived on a planet made entirely of rocks, covered in nothing but rocks, they could use their rock forms for camoflage. (Seriously, they did this too. You'd think that the other guys would learn to recognize what all their enemies looked like, but noooo...)
Despite this, I still mostly like the Rock Lords movie. While the Gobots cartoon in general is far inferior to Transformers (even G1), the Rock Lords movie is thoroughly watchable. I mean, it's not like it's super awesome or anything...
...but it's completely tolerable. I mean, the Rock Lords are actually sort of interesting (for some reason I've always really liked the Fossil Lord-the combination of a bone theme and a codgery, hissing voice is pretty unique, especially in a good guy), and while the good guys come out on top, it actually feels like a real (as opposed to a fake) desperate battle. The Gobots are practically (as indicated above) minor cameos for much of the film.
And while the film lacks either Pathfinder or Buggyman, Bugsie is present (and it seems to be his only appearance), so that rather makes up for it.
Failed '80s toy franchise cartoon week is a go.