Friday, September 26, 2014

Invid's Guide to the Star Wars Universe: Alien Species (#135)

The Massive Index (Posts #1-#100)
The Less Massive Index (Posts #101-#110)
The Second Less Massive Index (Posts #111-#120)
The Third Less Massive Index (Posts #121-#130)

(Skipped Prod's species despite an evocative page picture, because I've been skipping basically all the Monsters and Aliens from George Lucas "species" because they don't generally feel like they "fit" Star Wars, even if Star Wars was is a pretty broad franchise with a lot of wiggle room.

And if this article seems... tired, it's just been a while since I've had an entry that really fired me up; these "unidentified species" entries are really dragging me down. Hopefully Yoda's species will make the effort sorta worth it, because it's the second-to-last entry.

Won't be in the last article, though, because then I'll have to go back and find the ones I missed, which is sounding less appealing than it was eighty articles ago. And I'll probably work in a few special things in the final article, which I am looking forward to [the special things, not the last article, though after these last few weeks I'm looking forward to that too] despite the drag right now.)

1341. Plattahr's species. Um, they look... interesting...

Okay look their heads look like a certain male body part and there's no getting around it, alright?

They don't even have any eyes or anything. Just a mouth that thankfully isn't placed anywhere that makes it even worse.

Rating: 2/5. Uh, there's not really any reason an alien couldn't look like that, see...

1342. Punn Rimbaud's species. Punn Rimbaud and other members of her species served in the Separatist parliament.

The species' design hovers right between "kinda cute" and "deranged hellspawn" (at least, based on the still image, which is reminding me of the above species more than it should), which is never really a bad thing.

Rating: 2/5.

1343. Ran Deezy's species. Ran Deezy is seriously creeping me out right now. I think it's that fisheyed stare on what is ostensibly supposed to be a childlike, cute young face. If the eyes weren't so ridiculous, I think I'd like it.

Rating: 2/5, for forehead nostrils, which are also never really a bad thing.

1344. Rang Thang's species. Okay, Rang Thang (I don't see mention of it, but clearly the only correct way to say that is with an awful fake Southern accent) is a DJ who appears to be more or less an octopus-man.

An incredibly rad octopus-man.

Rating: 4/5. I'll note that I really didn't say "rad" very often if at all before I started this article series. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

1345. Raze's species. At first glance, Raze appears to be a seriously crazy villain. He's got an evil name, is large (not quite "immense" as the article claims), has tusks, wears a braincase plate to show off his grey matter, and has a massive, centipedish cyborg body that seems to take up half of every room he's currently occupying; he's also noted as being a smarter than average member of a smart species.

Then you read that he was good friends with a King Arthuro, a powerful ally of the Rebel Alliance, and dang he's kind of awesome, actually.

He's also clearly enjoying a large cup of coffee in the page picture.

Rating: 3/5. I can't give the species full credit for his awesomeness, but there probably was some score bleed there.

1346. Red Nebula species. The "Red Nebula species" would have been exterminated by the nebula for which they were named, but a pair of magic crystals showed up and preserved their planet from destruction.

...Suddenly I'm reminded of a thing from the Ewoks cartoon.

Anyway, the main thing to like about this bunch is that they actually had an angry schism over the nature of the crystals; while there was the expected worship-the-MacGuffin group, there was also a nihilist group who was resentful of being saved, and who separated the crystals, causing a plague with the amazing name of Crimson Forever.

Otherwise they're kind of generic pointy-eared bright pink guys.

Rating: 3/5 for their general hilarity.

1347. Red Nebula temple guardian's species. The Red Nebula magic crystals were kept in a temple that was guarded by a creature that was the last of her kind.

She looked a fair bit like a giant Wookiee, and inevitably this led to hilarity when she met Chewbacca and concluded he was a baby of her own species, of which she was the very last member.

Wait, did I say "hilarity?" I meant "soul-rending tragedy." Seriously, that's not funny, guys.

Rating: 2/5.

1348. Red pachydermoid species. Again with the elephants?

These guys actually remind me of nothing so much as some kind of true Sith/elephant hybrids.

Rating: 4/5. Because that is fun, and they look neat.

1349. Rur's species. Okay, this species' sole known individual preserved his mind in a computer to gain revenge on the Jedi, who had wiped his species out in some form of war.

He did this an unknown but very long time ago, and when he found out that the Jedi had been purged and that it had been thousands of years since, he committed suicide.

Incidentally, this is from one of the few Star Wars works written by Alan "Looks Like Charles Manson" Moore, who's written a lot of things in comics that a lot of people say things about. (I've only really read Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? myself, which was good if a bit derpy.)

Rating: 3/5. Rur's body looked kinda funky, but I do have to appreciate this, especially as it'll probably be among the last of the daft Marvel Star Wars created-a-singular-entity-which-is-all-we-have-to-know-them-by species; they're always good for a chuckle. Also, it was retconned to have to do with those wacky Pius Dea Crusades.

1350. Sho'ban Do's species. ...Dark Sun dwarves, is that you?

So let me get this straight: These "near-humans" live in the Kathol Outback, and they basically look like Dark Sun dwarves?

Yeah, sure. That's fun.

Rating: 3/5.

-Signing off.

No comments: