Thursday, February 24, 2011

Other NHL Guardians Who Are Completely Nuts

A few weeks ago, Chris Sims commented on the characters from the NHL's hockey team-themed superheroes (official bios for the characters here).

Not to knock on Sims, but I think he missed a few. (A bit late to point it out, I guess, but hey, no reason not to.)

The Capital

The guy who is associated with Washington, D.C. is "half bald eagle," whatever the heck that means, can fly and has incredible vision, is a shapeshifter, and can emit an immensely powerful sonic scream that causes him to turn bright red.

Just like any other Washington politician, see?

The King

This guy? Protects Hollywood from movie-related crimes. Seriously, in his little PDF story comic, he keeps a guy who calls himself "Hitchcock" from stealing the Academy Awards. No, really.

The Senator

The Senator, who rounds out the Guardians' governmental personage lineup, is credited as being great at motivating his allies and destroying his enemies' hope. He also has telekinesis (not mentioned in his bio but shown/mentioned in his story) and the power to neutralize enemy superpowers, and supposedly was once an actual gladiator. I'm not even sure how that could be any crazier.

The (Jersey) Devil

Then we have this guy, who is supposedly descended from the legendary cryptid called the Jersey Devil. He also "doesn't so much defeat his opponents... as completely annihilates them."

Dude. That's how it could be crazier.

The Predator

Predator is described as having "adamantium" fangs (seriously), can devour any matter or energy, can vomit up consumed matter and energy in the form of a "slightly radioactive slime," and can also disrupt electronics with his screams (once again not mentioned in his bio, but shown in his story). So he's got the powers of Matter-Eater Lad (with a disgusting bonus), G1 Frenzy, and has Wolverine claws in his mouth.

I'm not even sure what more I could say about that.

-Signing off.

No comments: