Canadian Soldiers Are Invading

No, I'm not making this up-"Canadian Soldier" is a term for the mayflies of the Great Lakes.

For the past two days, and to a lesser extent for the past week, hundreds upon hundreds of large (just shy of an inch long), fishy-smelling insects have boiled out of Lake Erie and probably from the other lakes as well. (I wouldn't know-quite frankly, I've never visited them, and certainly never during mayfly season.)

They spend their time lolling about, scaring tourists and feeding animals (because they're tasty), after a short while shedding their exoskeletons and then mating and dying. Mayflies live fast.

Of course, the truth about mayflies is that they're totally harmless, since they have no mouths. If they did have mouths, they'd probably be the scourge of the region. As it is, they just need to be periodically plowed out of the streets like insectile, fishy-smelling snow.

And a further truth is that this is only the tiniest fraction of their buggy lives. The actual lifespan of a mayfly is three years-it's just that it spends that whole time as a wingless freshwater insect incapable of reproduction. They're common prey, though not nearly as common prey as the adults. (And when I say that they "feed animals," well, cats and dogs will eat them as readily as birds and fish. No joke-when I gave one to an indoor cat the other day, she started purring with pleasure and drooled.)

Of course, if the water arthropods ever decide that they want to invade the land and conquer the Earth, mayflies are probably going to be their prime recruits. (And, of course, their primary source of casualties.) In all seriousness, the little buggers are probably the closest thing you'll ever see to a flying lobster.

-Signing off.