Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Top Five Vampire Stories You Wish You'd Thought Of First

Because they're really obvious.

5. Vampires from a devil-horned alien planet with super vampirizing eye lasers.

4. The "half vampire" vampire hunter.

3. Vampires fighting a zombie plague because, well, they need human blood.

2. Vampires attacking a town in the Arctic circle because the town will be in total darkness for a long time.

1. Vampire porn.
(Having read the book, it might be "soft" porn, but yeah, it's porn. I mean, it was written in Victorian England.)


Neil Sarver said...

I think Carmilla has to get credit, if nothing else, for beating "Dracula" out the gate.

Invid said...

Well, yeah, that's certainly true, but this is a humorous post for casual reading. Carmilla is more than a little obscure for a general audience. Further, I can't speak authoritatively on Carmilla because I haven't actually read it-I just know it by reputation.

Neil Sarver said...

Yes, I did get (and enjoyed) the humor, and I didn't mean to disturb or critique it with my comment.

Invid said...

No problem.