Character Distillation: The Beyonder

This particular entry is an easy one.

1. The Beyonder is an insanely powerful idiot.
2. Er, no #2.

Join me tomorrow, when I talk about-wait, no, I usually say more, don't I?

Yeah. Usually, these are brought on by reading about the characters on the good ol' internets, but I was simply struck by the random urge to do this one.

First, I should note that I subscribe to the original, Jim Shooter version of the character. I may be the only "Beyonder purist" on the whole doggoned Internet, but I feel it should be said. And why am I a "purist" about this?

Because the original concept for the Beyonder was that he was the only being from his universe-that he was, in effect, his universe. This means he'd be an idiot automatically.

I probably got a nasty kneejerk reaction from you right there. Bear with me and think about it.

The dude is the only guy in the (his) universe. The only person of any kind. As far as is known, there aren't even any bacteria in his universe. The very concept of otherness was probably almost too much for him to handle. Is it any wonder he's confused by concepts such as desires, good and evil, and gender? Thus, he'd have no idea what social interactions were like. It's staggering that he managed to understand language as an attempt at conveying the thoughts of others. I could probably go on, but I'm too lazy.

There's another reason that the Cosmic Cube version of the Beyonder bugs me:

1. Galactus > Cosmic Cube. (I think. It wouldn't be that big a deal if I'm wrong, but the Cosmic Cube just doesn't strike me as being comparable to a freaking force of the universe, and that's ignoring the fact that Cosmic Cubes were used to charge Green Lantern rings during a crossover or something ridiculous like that. Let's assume that Dr. Doom post absorbing Galactus's homeworld = Galactus for sake of argument.)
2. Beyonder >> Galactus.
3. Beyonder = incomplete Cosmic Cube
4. Owen Reece + Beyonder = female Cosmic Cube incarnation Kosmos

If you successfully solve these equations so that they make sense, please tell me. And show your work.

Anyway, the Shooter version of the Beyonder just works. Why? Because nothing is easier to make a plot out of than an incredibly powerful idiot. I mean, incredibly powerful idiots doing stupid things was practically 85% of the Silver Age of comics, depending on how you look at it. (A lot of modern comics, and plenty of stuff in between, for that matter, also uses this method.) Why doesn't he instantly exterminate all his enemies? Because he's too stupid to. Why doesn't he cure world hunger, end death, etc.? Because the devil tried to kill him, so he stupidly decides it might not have been quite that good an idea. (Okay, I'm just goofing around now. I only read the first ten issues of Secret Wars, primarily because they're all I have, and have never seen any issues of Secret Wars II. I should probably quit before I do something stupid.)

I was considering scanning and posting a panel from Secret Wars that I remember that had Reed Richards speculating whether the Beyonder was a cosmic idiot or not, but I don't have time now. Ah, well. Maybe I'll edit it in later.