Monday, March 25, 2013

Invid's Guide to the Star Wars Universe: Alien Species (#83)

821. Pa Tho. The Pa Tho were a long-extinct species. They were the creators of something called the Great Subcrustal Tubeway, apparently one of the greatest archeological discoveries in a thousand years (in the roughly post-movie era).

When your history is such that you're calling things "discovery of the millennium" and you mean it literally, you live in a danged old society.

Rating: 3/5. The Pa Tho and the P'Chek are good reminders of just what the "old" in "Old Republic" really means.

822. Pa'lowick. The Pa'lowick are amphibians who look... well, frankly rather comical. Do you recall the singer with the long... snout-trunk-thing in Jabba's palace? She was a Pa'lowick.

There are apparently two subspecies of Pa'lowick, presumably because of continuity error. Some Pa'lowick lose their tusks by the time they reach middle age, while others maintain them for their whole lives. They have gangly limbs and rotund bodies, supposedly because this is well-designed for their amphibious lifestyle. Their tusks are attached to large mouths that they really only use when young; when they mature, their diet is restricted by the fact that they now feed through those little snout things. How they're still supposed to use their tusks when their jaws apparently fuse shut is anybody's guess (supposedly the ones that retain them do so because they developed in a more predator-heavy region).

Apparently, they're big on storytelling and music (especially singing), because the first member of a people that appears in any given story must be an exemplar of the whole people, right? [/sarcasm]

They apparently traded out precious gems for technology oriented towards maintaining their traditions. That sounds funny, but it makes some sense.

Their homeworld was isolated because of general galactic lack of interest, but the Yuuzhan Vong paid it a visit during their invasion. Happily, the damage they rendered was temporary and the planet and society made a full recovery.

Rating: 3/5. Perfectly average, really.

823. Paaerduags. Paaerduags are some kind of symbiotic pair of species. A green creature is fused backwards to a larger, hunchbacked creature, so that it faces in the opposite direction. The two each have limited control over the shared body; the green creature apparently needs to ask the other half to turn around if it wants to see behind it.

While this sounds awkward and improbable, there's a certain amount of sense to the idea, in that facing opposite directions gives them a greater total field of vision.

Quirkier is that the green part speaks English/Basic while the other half speaks a language that humans can't pronounce or even entirely hear. Technically, supposedly, "Paaerduag" isn't the real name that the dual species uses for themselves, it's something humans couldn't reproduce.

Rating: 3/5. I like parts of the idea, but the conglomerate creature still looks too awkward to live. There's also a bit of nonsense about how one needs more ears to hear it. Um, no.

824. Pacithhip. Pacithhip are extremely short-legged dinosaur-esque elephant-headed guys. Apparently, their tusk structures determine what caste they belong to. Also, because they have very short legs, they often wear mechanical stilts to fit in better in a galaxy built for long-legged humanoid creatures. While this is probably a continuity snarl cover, it is also an adorable (if sad) notion.

Also, apparently a Pacithhip Jedi sprayed somebody in the face with his trunk once. Hilarious.

Rating: 4/5. Do you notice that the presence of silly Jedi always seems to boost my ratings?

825. Pada. Pada apparently have yellow fur, round faces, horns, and large claws well-suited for climbing. They apparently also have very good night vision and an honor code that prohibits them from killing anybody ever for any reason (and are generally peaceful and junk). I was going to give them a 2, but then I read that the representative member was named Sidney Shortfang, and that made me smile.

Rating: 3/5.

826. Paiguns. The Paiguns look a lot like Muuns, to the degree where if Star Wars was Muunocentric fiction instead of humanocentric, they'd probably be called "near-Muuns." Despite this body shape and skin described as scaly and knobbly, they are also called "toad-like," which honestly just seems pejorative at this point.

They're apparently known for not liking fighting, being big on math and engineering, and using lightning rods on their climatologically active planet to power their cities.


Rating: 3/5.

827. Palarians. The Palarians are from Pal Goral, which is a funny name for a planet, because it rhymes.

Anyway, many Palarians were recruited to work in the Corporate Sector, where it turned out the jobs they had been promised were basically slavery, so the Palarians started a guerrilla war.

You go, dudes.

Rating: 2/5. Because this particular case remembered that nobody is supposed to be native to the Corporate Sector.

828. Palmiens du Tigre, or just Palmiens. The ambiguously canonical Palmiens were humanoids, and were rendered extinct during an Imperial stormtrooper training exercise.

...Wow. Just to clarify, apparently the genocide was specifically the "graduation exercise," or whatever.

Rating: 1/5. That sounds like a pretty nasty training exercise. But it might not exist in the Star Wars universe. Meh.

829. Pan-preneur. The Pan-preneur look like Mon Calamari, at least a little bit, and supposedly are distant relatives. The article also claims, on the other hand, that "many aquatic species" share similar genetics. ...Yeah, I'll bite my tongue on that, there's a lot wrong with that statement but I just don't have the time or energy right now.

Their planet is named Sonn Vilmari. That's a nice name for a planet.

Rating: 2/5.

830. Pantorans. Pantorans are among the many blue-skinned just-about-humans of Star Wars. While blueness is usually appealing, the particular shade is kind of... off, and further it looks rather like a cheap Photoshop job. The article also takes the time to explain what humans look like. Sorry guys, still unnecessary, especially the bit about distinguishing females by their breasts. It's still creepy.

Anyway, they also have yellow markings on their faces, which are modestly interesting, and have the odd feature of being extremely cold-resistant. Yeah, whatever.

Rating: 2/5. Get out of here, you Chiss wannabes.

-Signing off.

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