Invid's Guide to the Star Wars Universe: Alien Species (#132)

The Massive Index (Posts #1-#100)
The Less Massive Index (Posts #101-#110)
The Second Less Massive Index (Posts #111-#120)
The Third Less Massive Index (Posts #121-#130)

(Skipped Dharus' species, Endorian felinoids, extinct Shola species, and Farn Klin's species.)

1311. Bron Burs's species. Bron Burs was derived from a discarded Return of the Jedi maquette (right after Brangus Glee? Weird) and I mainly bring him up because he was kinda neat-looking.

Like Brangus Glee, he was also a Force sensitive, although in his case rather than suspicious gambling habits he presumably put them to use in his occupation as a commando for the Rebellion.

Rating: 2/5. Mostly because he looks kinda neat.

1312. Cabrool Nuum's species. This species looks almost human enough that they could be taken to be human.

All three known members of the species were relate and members of some criminal something-or-other, and Jabba the Hutt personally killed all three of them. (Jabba was very active and pretty disgusting in said comic; he ate one of them.)

Rating: 1/5. They don't really have any particularly interesting features, though I admit I find aspects of their appearance aesthetically pleasing.

1313. Dania Francis's species. This seahorse/humanoid species is a member of the Iskalonian School, and...



...Um...



...Uh....



...Why?

Rating: 1/5. While I like the Iskalonian School as a concept, I can't say I like that character design very much. I mean, sheesh.

1314. Davnar II natives. They're reptilian and said to have a "flair" for execution.

Rating: 1/5. Incidental, although it's kind of an interesting tidbit.

1315. Dyslogia Twang's species. This species has huge, kinda squishy-looking heads and little bitty skinny hands.

Incidentally, the one known member was a news network contributor, and the article can't seem to agree with itself on his gender (the article on the character consistently uses male pronouns/terminology, but the article on the species calls him male but then primarily/exclusively uses female pronouns). Kinda screwy.

Rating: 2/5. They have kind of an interesting goitery look.

1316. Eban's species. This species is 1) marsupial, 2) chews bananas in public, and 3) wears traditional ceremonial headgear called the Helmet of Fourteen Confusions, which apparently is prone to causing wearers to break into speeches from "the 41st eon."

How delightfully bizarre.

Rating: 3/5. I particularly like the idea of the Helmet of Fourteen Confusions, because the name is so evocative and fantasy-esque.

1317. Eero Iridian's species. This species is tall, spindly, and has bright yellow eyes and flexible antennae.

Funnily enough, the article feels the need to mention that they have feet. While I appreciate the possibility that they don't, most things that wouldn't would not fall under the description "tall and spindly" (the exception being something rooted in one place, mostly).

Less goofily, it's noted that they may wrap their antennae around their fingers while nervous, which is a nice little bit of body language concept that more aliens could use (that is, something not purely anthropomorphic, and linked to the alien's anatomy).

Rating: 2/5. I like that detail on the antennae.

1318. Elfish humanoids. They're, well, elves, and may be related to the Sephi.

I have never and can never bring myself to care about the Sephi, but the primary known member of this species, Lourdes, is basically Princess Zelda, which is rather amusing. Well, Princess Zelda if she stabbed Ganondorf (who was a Yahk-Tosh instead of... whatever he is) to death with swords.

Er, that is to say, Lourdes stabbed a Yahk-Tosh to death with swords, and if we're comparing her to Zelda, that Yahk-Tosh was her Ganondorf.

Something.

Never mind.

(Her "Link" was some human Jedi who didn't contribute nearly as much as Lourdes or her anthropomorphic fly butler to that part of the conflict, even though he was still her love interest. Turned out that Lourdes was a prophesied hero and that guy was mostly incidental. Which is kind of funny.)

Rating: 3/5. I suspect that if I were to actually read the full story, this might well be different (due to various relatively probable terrible nonsense), but on the weight of Lourdes clearly being awesome based on the summaries I've read, her unnamed species gets a decent rating.

1319. Ellam's species. This four-armed and vaguely froglike species can't endure Earthlike gravity and thus at least one of its members cruises around in a hoverchair. Said individual is extremely portly and, if this image is any indication, apparently pretty windbaggy. Look at that sassy display behind him.



I mean, unless she's also some nonhuman species, it appears she's sassing so hard that she's dislocated her jaw a bit...

Rating: 3/5. I kind of like the design, and I'm amused by the sass.

1320. Feleen Bantillian's species. The known members of this species are, once more, all part of one family; in this case, all of them were killed by Boba Fett instead of Jabba. (And one of them put out a bounty on one of the others with the intention of setting a trap because of a revenge plot for the first one, who had been killed in a previous incident.)

One individual we've seen seemed to be huge but also covered entirely in armor and so we can only guess at what he looked like underneath; the other was a brain in a jar (and a crime lord).

The armor that this individual wore suggests some interesting anatomical details, but there's no actual hard and fast knowledge. The brain, on the other hand, was clearly visible.

Rating: 2/5. There's certain things here which earn a point even though things are sketchy overall.

-Signing off.

Game Reviews: Terra God

Terra God is a rather crummy (and nonsensically named) tower defense game that brings exactly one interesting feature to the table.



Most of the game is bog standard, although it does have a rather restrictive "can only build on 'controlled territory'" feature similar to that in Demons vs Fairyland, wherein you can't build towers if you don't have other towers nearby already. The way this particular game works, you actually automatically must start with a tower or you can't ever build any; makes one wonder how that first tower got put in place.

Anyway, the game doesn't feel especially well-balanced to me, with there being a drastic difficulty spike around the fourth or fifth stage, but it does have one feature that's interesting enough to make note of: There are "enemy towers" on the map that actually help the enemies.

This game's honestly kind of terrible and not really worth playing (it's actually actively annoying, what with the tower quotes that spam when you click on them), but the idea of there being "enemy safe zones" (I've seen healing towers and armor-boosting towers) on the map is kind of conceptually interesting, and I'm curious what a decent game that used the idea might be like. (It does have the potential problem of making one's own tower placement even more critical than it was already, but at least the game doesn't limit tower placement the same way the Incursion/Kingdom Rush family does... even if it has its own way that's not really very good either.)

In a pathing/mazing tower defense game, it'd be kind of interesting to see enemies who "dropped" towers when they died, for that matter. There's probably quite a bit of conceptual space to explore there.

-Signing off.

Labeling This Properly Would Ruin It

Okay, so this video is one of those things you kind of have to watch.

NOTE OF WARNING: Language, general adult themes, extensive rambling about incest. (Although it's not really that bad, other than the swearing.)



It's still worth watching for the twist at the end (because of course there's a twist at the end, you think I'd share it if there wasn't?).

-Signing off.

Invid's Guide to the Star Wars Universe: Alien Species (#131)

The Massive Index (Posts #1-#100)
The Less Massive Index (Posts #101-#110)
The Second Less Massive Index (Posts #111-#120)
The Third Less Massive Index (Posts #121-#130)

(I finally decided that the way I'm going to handle this is that if I can think of something to say other than "NOPE" or "meh" about a given species in the "Unidentified" species section, I'll list them, even if it's just "OH GOSH THAT'S HORRIFYING" or "that's sorta neat-looking."

On that subject, I've skipped a total of five species for this article.)

1301. Zoa'mon. The Zoa'mon are said to have been exterminated by Xim the Despot, who is said to have justified their extinction by saying they were slavers. (This is from the Hutt play Evocar, which is of ambiguously historical nature. It should be noted that the Hutts were enemies of Xim and defeated him, and should also be noted that the play's depiction of Xim is hilarious. I've mentioned in the past that Xim's essential response to being accused to wiping out nine species is "which ones did you leave out?" and his response to another accusation was "well, sure, those two, but that third one I don't know what you're talking about.")

Rating: 2/5. Honestly, that's high, but I'm feeling nostalgic because it's probably the last time I get to bring up Evocar's (extremely brief) depiction of Xim.

1302. Zolanders. The Clawdites are a genetic offshoot of the Zolanders. Traditionally, the Zolanders treated the Clawdites as second-class citizens at best, but at some point during the era of the New Republic, a civil war broke out on their mutual homeworld of Zolan which resulted in the Clawdites subjugating the Zolanders.

We have no pictures of the Zolanders, but presumably they're some kind of ugly lumpy people, because that seems to be the Clawdites' "true" form.

Rating: 2/5. It's just one big cycle of unhappiness, isn't it?

1303. Zongorlu. Zongorlu are big, lumpy plant beings who can apparently only travel over about three feet of ground a day. They are capable of blinking and can be set on fire (now there's a bizarre set of characteristics to be listed together).

There was some propaganda that played the Zongorlu up as terrifying and numerous warriors intended to keep a force of Mandalorians from invading the planet, but it was entirely nonsense. In actual fact, when the Mandalorians invaded, they started setting Zongorlu on fire out of mere boredom rather than hostility; the leader apparently ordered it stopped because he was worried that the fires would threaten the Mandalorian camps, because it was a dry week.

Wow.

Rating: 2/5. Kinda wish we knew what they looked like beyond the vague description.

1304. Zoolli. Zoolli mostly look like humans, can potentially have blue hair, and are known for having "longer, thinner" noses than most humans.

Both of those distinguishing descriptive features make me think of anime characters, as it happens (though the beakish noses are a lot less common than they were in older media, and the blue hair came later).

Rating: 1/5. Amused as I am by my own reaction, they're just another almost-human species.

1305. Zybahhod Yenyoni. Zybahhod Yenyoni are (presumably) the last of the alien design contest aliens I'll be talking about.

There's not really much to say about them beyond them being natives of Tatooine who apparently can't stand the sun's heat and are thus nocturnal. They're kind of generic-but-also-obviously-not-human humanoids.

Rating: 2/5. I kind of like their name.

1306. Zygerrians. Okay, yet another example of how frustrating I find the phrases used to compare humans to aliens: The Zygerrians are very feline in appearance (fur, big flappy ears, catlike sharpness and color patterns-they're actually basically slightly more catlike Thundercats), but are described as "near-humans."

Except in this case they're supposedly actually biologically related to humans.

Male Zygerrians are slightly less catlike, with funky chin-horn things.

Anyway, they're kind of boring "we are the strong and the weak deserve enslavement at best" type people. Bleh.

Rating: 2/5. I'll admit I have a soft spot for the character designs, but they're pretty generic and meh whatever.

1307. Zylurians. They look a little bit like big, scaly muppets.

A group of Zylurians were killed by Ubuugan fleshborers, mentioned here (in the Ubuugans entry).

Rating: 2/5. Well, I guess that's it for my first sweep through the named species. (There'll be a second sweep once I'm through "Unidentified species" [unless I forget], because I know for a fact that I missed some that were added after the first sweep.)

1308. Aurra Sing's father's species. Aurra Sing is a bounty hunter who made a brief cameo in Episode I. As with Boba Fett before her, she got a lot of love in the EU, turning out to be a former Jedi apprentice who went darksidey and became a Jedi-killing bounty hunter.

While her mother was a human, her father was of an unknown alien species, whose characteristics include a long lifespan, at least some aspects of appearance associated with Aurra Sing (including kind of freaky long fingers), and a preference for blood over solid food (if Aurra Sing herself is any indication, at least).

Aurra Sing wanted to kill him, apparently for the sin of fathering her.

Rating: 3/5. Well, while I don't know how necessary I find the idea of a mystery species (especially considering the brouhaha around Yoda's species, which will be one of the last "Unidentified" species I cover), considering the estimated twenty million or so sapient species of the Star Wars galaxy versus the roughly fifteen hundred (guessing high) we actually know about (my guesstimate based on the size of my list versus how much I haven't covered), it shouldn't be surprising that there are a few.

1309. Bothel's species. The known members of this species are Bothel and Trud, who appear to be half-naked cartoon hobo kangaroo-elephants who lived on Endor.

These individuals like frolicking in mud (...), and tricked some Ewok into giving them an Endorian magic rock that played a major role in many Ewok-related stories.

This was actually apparently in the last episode of the cartoon, but I'm not under the impression their plot was very successful.

Rating: 3/5. How often does one get to write phrases like "half-naked cartoon hobo kangaroo-elephants?" Not very often.

1310. Brangus Glee's species. Brangus Glee is the name given to an unused maquette from Return of the Jedi. He looks like a less cuddly version of E.T. to some degree, with a tiny little head. He's apparently considered an "elder" of his species, is known to be Force-sensitive, and is a gambler.

That doesn't sound shady at all. (Seriously, a Force-sensitive gambler? Don't play cards or dice with that guy.)

Rating: 3/5. I kind of like the design.

-Signing off.

Just As Well That Music Number Got Rickrolled

Sometimes, you learn about a thing and it's hard to believe it happened, but you look into it and it did.



This is one of those things.

(Also, boy that has to be the worst impression of that character I've ever heard. The blue guy, I mean. I've heard just enough of the character to know he sounds nothing like that discordant shrieking.)

-Signing off.

The Game Is Off

(I don't seem to have posted anything about this... Of course, it's complicated by the fact that the search feature doesn't organize by date anymore, which ticks me off.)

Considering that the following is battle music for an incredibly grim game, you'd think it'd be intense or atmospherically creepy, wouldn't you?



Not even the name is creepy, though. Pepper Steak? Seriously?

Though in the context of the game, it arguably makes things creepy that the theme is so cheerful.

(If you're interested in the game, I haven't played it, but this playlist will probably have links if you're interested in playing the game, and if you're not but are curious, it's a Let's Play.)

-Signing off.

Well, This Is Embarrassing

For a variety of reasons (a bit of procrastination, a bit lot of distraction, a bit of getting off the computer and my sister taking it over for a while, and other things as well), I completely forgot about doing a post, well, at this point last night.

So, um... This thing you've probably seen.



Whatever, I dunno.

-Signing off.