Monday, November 7, 2011

Invid's Guide to the Star Wars Universe: Alien Species #19

181. Cosians. Cosians are described as having beaks and clubbed tails, which makes me think that they're a bit like bipedal ankylosaurs.

More importantly, a Jedi Cosian uses the lightsaber equivalent of a sword cane.


Rating: 4/5. Sure, the species itself has little information, but an ankylosaur alien with a lightsaber cane makes me smile.

182. Courataines. Courataines are known to be squishy and to need help breathing in what we would consider normal atmospheres because of their homeworld's low gravity and thin atmosphere.

Rating: 3/5. For some guys who appeared in the background of one of the Han Solo Adventures briefly (so briefly I don't even recall them), they've got some decent material to work with as a starting point.

183. Covallon. The Covallon basically resemble big hairy reptile dogs, but are just as intelligent as humans. Since Imperials are speciesist jerks, a few Covallon used this to their advantage and were "adopted" as "pets" by high-ranking Imperial officers in order to spy on said officers.

Rating: 5/5. All power to the opposable-thumbless master spies who are cool-looking reptile lion dog things.

184. Coway. The Coway are big tough primitive types, for the most part. They look relatively human, but are covered in red down and all of them have these hilarious feather mohawk crests.

Hilariously, the entry for them claims that their foods would be poison to them if their digestive systems weren't so powerful. No duh, any foods that you can't digest will at the very least be inedible and poison-like.

Rating: 3/5. They're basically bigger, meaner Ewoks who are easier to take seriously. (Seriously, the first story to feature them was actually published years before Return of the Jedi, and they were basically exactly like Ewoks but lived in caves instead.)

185. Coynites. The Coynites are a rather typical dumb warrior race for the most part ("ME HATE WEAK PEOPLE! WEAK PEOPLE ALL DIE!" etc.) but have two interesting notes.

First, they have a physiognomy that would result in a possible 250-year lifespan, but because they're all idiots who constantly tear into each other, their actual average lifespan is 53 years. Good gravy, but they're dumb.

Second, despite a very humanlike shape and general appearance, they are described as giving birth to "litters" of two to six, implying that six isn't an unusual litter. Ouch. (It also notes that each litter is made up of only one sex.)

Rating: 3/5. I hate dumb warrior races (just because they're violent doesn't mean they'll be dumb), but the biological details amuse me.

186. Cragmoloids. Cragmoloids are elephant people. Elephant people who spent time entirely enslaved, and who lost their homeworld to heavy stripmining by a megacorporation.

More relevant to the modern Cragmoloid is the very real issue of being poached for his or her valuable tusks. While they think it's humiliating, most of them saw their own tusks off to ensure their own safety.

Rating: 4/5. I find their delicate societal position rather unrealistic for the most part, but also hecka funny in a grim sort of way.

187. Cranscoc. The Cranscoc are slow-breeding insectoids who communicate by changing their own colors. Cranscoc own Spaarti Creations, which those familiar with the EU will note as sharing the name of the cloning apparatus used in the Timothy Zahn-penned Star Wars novels.

Not surprising, as they appeared in a Zahn-penned story to explain why Spaarti cloning cylinders were in his books when the prequels used guys named Kaminoans instead.

Rating: 3/5. I think this is the lowest I've rated a Zahn book species, although it was more of a Zahn short story species. (Could be wrong.) The thing about Zahn, though, is that even his obvious continuity patching is great.

188. Cratniks. Cratniks are apparently a grossout species, because they're described as large insectoids who are "repulsive" in appearance to humanoids, eat live rodents, and get mad if you impolitely refuse to eat the rodents they offer you. And don't think they won't offer you live rodents to eat-they will. (They will excuse you if you are polite and a vegetarian or don't want to eat raw food. Yes, that's a "polite and it's not part of your diet," not "polite or it's not part of your diet.)

They also attack with their jaws in combat.

Rating: 4/5. I find it hilarious that they were apparently designed with the intention of making them freaky as all heck.

189. Crintlians. Crintlians have a hilarious name.

They're also "territorial" (over their furniture? Over their food? Over the remote? Over their lands? Over their planet?) and "known for their technology" (advanced technology? Primitive technology? Cheap imitation technology? Fancy and with all the bells and whistles technology?).

Rating: 1/5. No good. Please avoid vagueness in your descriptions in the future.

190. Critokians. The Critokians, from Critoki (fun to say and to type), are intended to be giant spiders, although the existing illustration is... odd. They're the canonized entry in the "Under 16" category of the "Design an Alien" contest, which I've mentioned in the past.

They can kill prey with their large claws.

They also apparently have a population on Yavin 4, the rather lush moon that the Rebels put their base on in ANH.

Rating: 4/5. I find the statement above ("They can kill prey..."), which is paraphrased rather closely from the article on them, to be hilarious. Also, I tend to rate spider guys high here...

-Signing off.

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