So earlier I had a little thought that amused me, and I figured it would probably amuse other people as well, so I'm going to give it a chance to.
This is a suggestion on a novel way to make a film.
Hire a visual effects director. I'm thinking of Michael Bay, because he's probably the most famous and lucrative visual effects-oriented director out there right now, and with one of the biggest reputations among critics for awful movies. (Guillermo del Toro doesn't count for various reasons, because he makes good movies, and what I'm about to describe is a little bit of a jerk move.)
Just straight up have him make a movie. Full budget and everything, right?
Then, arrange a "b-crew." Give the "b-crew" a smaller budget and limited time. Encourage hiring no-name actors with decent talent.
And give them the movie that the VE director made for use as stock footage, using their own actors to dub over the scenes.
That is how I would make a Power Rangers movie.
You can have this one for free, guys. I just want to see it happen at this point.
-Signing off.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
It's Some Video About A Thing I Don't Play
I've posted this before, but that doesn't make it any less interesting and insightful. (Or any less full of swears.)
And it's been two and a half years since I last posted it, so...
(Pretty sure my sister didn't read it when I posted it last time even though 90% of the reason I posted it is because I thought she'd find it interesting. Hint, hint.)
-Signing off.
And it's been two and a half years since I last posted it, so...
(Pretty sure my sister didn't read it when I posted it last time even though 90% of the reason I posted it is because I thought she'd find it interesting. Hint, hint.)
-Signing off.
Friday, October 10, 2014
The Other The Star Wars
(Regular Star Wars post put off until a later date because of various reasons conspiring against it, including screwy sleep patterns, an ongoing weird Internet situation, and a trip to visit family for somebody's birthday.
And acquiring RPG Maker. That isn't a help either.)
So this last week, courtesy of my sister's nerdy and genuinely insidious (if unintentionally so, perhaps) ex-boyfriend, I read The Star Wars, a comic based on a rough draft used to pitch the Star Wars films.
It was a bit of a nostalgic experience, to be frank, because in my early days of having an Internet connection I collected a bunch of the early drafts of the first film and read them. (I also read a fanfic that was based on the idea of being a sequel to one of them. ...It was pretty awful. Everyone died.) I also thought that the art direction was pretty great; I loved the alternate stormtrooper armor and the fighter version of the Star Destroyers. Said art direction was also interesting because it was a fusion of concept art from the original ANH production and prequel-era concept design.
On the other hand... well, it had kind of a weird, meandering story that integrated basically everything from the original trilogy in a kind of nonsensical backwards way.
I liked the Obi-Wan Kenobi/Luke Skywalker hybrid character and Annikin Skywalker's dad, though. (Even if the latter was a little too obsessed over the idea that he was more machine, now, than man and died because he gave his life support battery to someone else because they "needed" to keep a kid in suspended animation for the kid's own safety. George Lucas sure loved that one scene, it was in every draft that led to ANH even though it didn't make it into the final films except as that one line from a character who wasn't even the cyborg in question. Even more amazing is that it hopped from character to character as the drafts went on-it went from the Jedi mentor to a mentor that Han Solo had in one draft, because George just wanted it so bad.)
Anyway, decent little thing, even though it has some problems, and the hardcover version's a pretty, well-made book. Wish I could keep the concept art in back.
-Signing off.
And acquiring RPG Maker. That isn't a help either.)
So this last week, courtesy of my sister's nerdy and genuinely insidious (if unintentionally so, perhaps) ex-boyfriend, I read The Star Wars, a comic based on a rough draft used to pitch the Star Wars films.
It was a bit of a nostalgic experience, to be frank, because in my early days of having an Internet connection I collected a bunch of the early drafts of the first film and read them. (I also read a fanfic that was based on the idea of being a sequel to one of them. ...It was pretty awful. Everyone died.) I also thought that the art direction was pretty great; I loved the alternate stormtrooper armor and the fighter version of the Star Destroyers. Said art direction was also interesting because it was a fusion of concept art from the original ANH production and prequel-era concept design.
On the other hand... well, it had kind of a weird, meandering story that integrated basically everything from the original trilogy in a kind of nonsensical backwards way.
I liked the Obi-Wan Kenobi/Luke Skywalker hybrid character and Annikin Skywalker's dad, though. (Even if the latter was a little too obsessed over the idea that he was more machine, now, than man and died because he gave his life support battery to someone else because they "needed" to keep a kid in suspended animation for the kid's own safety. George Lucas sure loved that one scene, it was in every draft that led to ANH even though it didn't make it into the final films except as that one line from a character who wasn't even the cyborg in question. Even more amazing is that it hopped from character to character as the drafts went on-it went from the Jedi mentor to a mentor that Han Solo had in one draft, because George just wanted it so bad.)
Anyway, decent little thing, even though it has some problems, and the hardcover version's a pretty, well-made book. Wish I could keep the concept art in back.
-Signing off.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Oddly Specific Title Salad
The title of this post comes from the song title "In Darkness Where Elves Burn," part of an album being sold on RPGMakerweb.com (which features over thirty admittedly pretty short songs for less than eight dollars, which is a great deal even if you aren't interested in the songs for their intended use, which is as video game music).
It's a pretty awesome song, as you can tell if you listen to the above YouTube video or follow either of the above links. Also awesome is another song from the same album with the equally oddly specific title "Wars Between Pirates and Dwarves."
Seriously, those titles are pretty weird.
-Signing off.
It's a pretty awesome song, as you can tell if you listen to the above YouTube video or follow either of the above links. Also awesome is another song from the same album with the equally oddly specific title "Wars Between Pirates and Dwarves."
Seriously, those titles are pretty weird.
-Signing off.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Actually, No, They're Not Monsters*
In the spirit of share and share alike, I'm embedding a couple of the old Terminix commercials depicting pest insects who aren't generally that nasty as equivalent to enormous CGI monsters. (You should seriously read that article. It's great.)
This one is probably my single favorite, just because an octopus with slug faces on the ends of its tentacles and moving like a beach octopus (so that said slug faces actually still move like slug faces) is truly beautiful and amazing.
Wearing a cookie jar as a shell is just gravy. Or something.
And then there's this guy, who is just hilarious because he's basically an organic buzzsaw robot.
What was in the water when they decided to do these commercials, exactly? Bring it back.
*For that matter, I imagine that the imagery actually caused a lot of people to feel relief. "Oh, they're only talking about ordinary bugs. WHEW."
Maybe the director was actually trying to be subversive?
-Signing off.
This one is probably my single favorite, just because an octopus with slug faces on the ends of its tentacles and moving like a beach octopus (so that said slug faces actually still move like slug faces) is truly beautiful and amazing.
Wearing a cookie jar as a shell is just gravy. Or something.
And then there's this guy, who is just hilarious because he's basically an organic buzzsaw robot.
What was in the water when they decided to do these commercials, exactly? Bring it back.
*For that matter, I imagine that the imagery actually caused a lot of people to feel relief. "Oh, they're only talking about ordinary bugs. WHEW."
Maybe the director was actually trying to be subversive?
-Signing off.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Invid's Guide to the Star Wars Universe: Alien Species (#136)
The Massive Index (Posts #1-#100)
The Less Massive Index (Posts #101-#110)
The Second Less Massive Index (Posts #111-#120)
The Third Less Massive Index (Posts #121-#130)
(Skipped Skreen's species, and I already covered Theoretical Serias species.)
1351. Silentium's creators. All we know about these guys are that they looked like starfish, created (technically the predecessors of) the Silentium (who are awesome), and then were wiped out by a radiation storm from a supernova. ...Which is an anticlimactic death when one is such a potentially powerful civilization. They are believed to have been from a different galaxy.
They were slightly implied to have also created the Sharu, who are also awesome. (The same implication could actually have been implying it was the Silentium instead, all things considered, but whatever, it's not like it's that important. Plus how would a civilization so powerful that it went around creating other species possibly in different galaxies from their homeworld be wiped out by a simple supernova?)
Rating: 3/5 by association with the Sharu and Silentium, both of whom scored solid 5s.
1352. Skärtis species. Near as I can tell, the main thing that identifies this (fairly generic) species as being of Skärtis was an oath used by the one individual known to be of the species: "By the seven moons of Skärtis!"
...That's kind of an oddball swear, when you think about it; while I could totally see "by the seven moons!" as a swear, adding "of my homeworld!" seems a bit silly.
"By the Moon of Earth!" Can you imagine someone from our world saying that, even if the Moon was a big deal to them? I can't. "By the sixty-seven moons of Jupiter!" sounds reasonable by comparison.
Rating: 1/5 despite the amusement value.
1353. Spacefaring benefactors. These beings were the mysterious entities that rounded up the seventeen species who would eventually become the Iskalonian School to save them from extinction. Their identity is unknown, though the Shi'ido anthropologist Mammon Hoole (see the earlier link to the Sharu article) was researching the subject on the dead homeworlds of the Iskalonians.
Rating: 2/5 for enabling the Iskalonian School, a general concept I happen to like.
1354. Stalk-eyed species. This species appears to primarily be made up of background characters.
They are tiny and rather adorable and oozing with personality, so I like them.
Rating: 4/5.
1355. Stauz Czycz's species. ...That's a hard name to type.
The majority of this species, as far as is known all but one lonely individual, were wiped out by the Empire, specifically by a force led by Darth Vader under orders from the Emperor. This survivor would go on to be heavily modified into a human-looking cyborg and have a bounty hunter career, in hopes of being hired by Darth Vader and invited into his presence. He actually apparently showed up late to the meeting we see in Empire Strikes Back, using the opportunity to try to murder Darth Vader in revenge. Considering that Darth Vader had to show up later in the movie, obviously it couldn't work, and he got decapitated.
Anyway, they look pretty cool; they have some kind of alien dreadlock things which invariably make me think of the Predators when I see them, but that's the only real resemblance.
Rating: 3/5.
1356. Tarron Neb's species. A species nearly wiped out by the Empire whose sole surviving member was a warrior guy (...again?!), this Design an Alien species was native to Yavin 8, also home to the reverse-amphibian Melodies, mermaids who sometimes get eaten by spiders. That's the most interesting thing about them, because that seems to be all there is about them.
Rating: 1/5.
1357. Those who came before. "Those who came before" is the name used by the Sebiri to describe the mysterious beings who had built a stone temple of some sort "without the use of tools," "performed miracles with glowing charms," and were believed by the Sebiri to have created the jungle they lived in.
Considering that the planet Sebiris, to which the Sebiri are native, is in the Kathol sector, they probably know what they're talking about.
Rating: 2/5.
1358. Tiggs Leo's species. At first glance, this species is a slightly generic tiger-striped four-armed species.
At closer examination, they have an extra pair of eyes on the sides of their heads which are disproportionately huge, and thus are slightly less generic.
Rating: 3/5. They're sorta likeable.
1359. Tobar's species. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd say about these guys, but then my sister reminded me of what the design was reminiscent of:
The "Flatulan" species from Treasure Planet. That dude's even wearing practically the same vest.
Rating: 2/5 for reminding me of that movie, which deserved better than it got.
1360. Unidentified Adin species. They apparently are "thin," have red skin with white facial stripes, two-fingered hands, and pale pink teeth.
Strange but oddly intriguing. I wish they had a picture.
Rating: 3/5.
-Signing off.
The Less Massive Index (Posts #101-#110)
The Second Less Massive Index (Posts #111-#120)
The Third Less Massive Index (Posts #121-#130)
(Skipped Skreen's species, and I already covered Theoretical Serias species.)
1351. Silentium's creators. All we know about these guys are that they looked like starfish, created (technically the predecessors of) the Silentium (who are awesome), and then were wiped out by a radiation storm from a supernova. ...Which is an anticlimactic death when one is such a potentially powerful civilization. They are believed to have been from a different galaxy.
They were slightly implied to have also created the Sharu, who are also awesome. (The same implication could actually have been implying it was the Silentium instead, all things considered, but whatever, it's not like it's that important. Plus how would a civilization so powerful that it went around creating other species possibly in different galaxies from their homeworld be wiped out by a simple supernova?)
Rating: 3/5 by association with the Sharu and Silentium, both of whom scored solid 5s.
1352. Skärtis species. Near as I can tell, the main thing that identifies this (fairly generic) species as being of Skärtis was an oath used by the one individual known to be of the species: "By the seven moons of Skärtis!"
...That's kind of an oddball swear, when you think about it; while I could totally see "by the seven moons!" as a swear, adding "of my homeworld!" seems a bit silly.
"By the Moon of Earth!" Can you imagine someone from our world saying that, even if the Moon was a big deal to them? I can't. "By the sixty-seven moons of Jupiter!" sounds reasonable by comparison.
Rating: 1/5 despite the amusement value.
1353. Spacefaring benefactors. These beings were the mysterious entities that rounded up the seventeen species who would eventually become the Iskalonian School to save them from extinction. Their identity is unknown, though the Shi'ido anthropologist Mammon Hoole (see the earlier link to the Sharu article) was researching the subject on the dead homeworlds of the Iskalonians.
Rating: 2/5 for enabling the Iskalonian School, a general concept I happen to like.
1354. Stalk-eyed species. This species appears to primarily be made up of background characters.
They are tiny and rather adorable and oozing with personality, so I like them.
Rating: 4/5.
1355. Stauz Czycz's species. ...That's a hard name to type.
The majority of this species, as far as is known all but one lonely individual, were wiped out by the Empire, specifically by a force led by Darth Vader under orders from the Emperor. This survivor would go on to be heavily modified into a human-looking cyborg and have a bounty hunter career, in hopes of being hired by Darth Vader and invited into his presence. He actually apparently showed up late to the meeting we see in Empire Strikes Back, using the opportunity to try to murder Darth Vader in revenge. Considering that Darth Vader had to show up later in the movie, obviously it couldn't work, and he got decapitated.
Anyway, they look pretty cool; they have some kind of alien dreadlock things which invariably make me think of the Predators when I see them, but that's the only real resemblance.
Rating: 3/5.
1356. Tarron Neb's species. A species nearly wiped out by the Empire whose sole surviving member was a warrior guy (...again?!), this Design an Alien species was native to Yavin 8, also home to the reverse-amphibian Melodies, mermaids who sometimes get eaten by spiders. That's the most interesting thing about them, because that seems to be all there is about them.
Rating: 1/5.
1357. Those who came before. "Those who came before" is the name used by the Sebiri to describe the mysterious beings who had built a stone temple of some sort "without the use of tools," "performed miracles with glowing charms," and were believed by the Sebiri to have created the jungle they lived in.
Considering that the planet Sebiris, to which the Sebiri are native, is in the Kathol sector, they probably know what they're talking about.
Rating: 2/5.
1358. Tiggs Leo's species. At first glance, this species is a slightly generic tiger-striped four-armed species.
At closer examination, they have an extra pair of eyes on the sides of their heads which are disproportionately huge, and thus are slightly less generic.
Rating: 3/5. They're sorta likeable.
1359. Tobar's species. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd say about these guys, but then my sister reminded me of what the design was reminiscent of:
The "Flatulan" species from Treasure Planet. That dude's even wearing practically the same vest.
Rating: 2/5 for reminding me of that movie, which deserved better than it got.
1360. Unidentified Adin species. They apparently are "thin," have red skin with white facial stripes, two-fingered hands, and pale pink teeth.
Strange but oddly intriguing. I wish they had a picture.
Rating: 3/5.
-Signing off.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
'80s Krang and Shredder: Basically an Old Married Couple
Got distracted by way too many things (rereading Adventurers! again, for instance, plus an awkward weird situation with my internet connection), so here's a random YouTube video.
I did say random.
-Signing off.
I did say random.
-Signing off.
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